The V-Day Series: Valentine's Anthem

Let me be at my best at Aaliyah's request
Love: never the destination, ever the quest
The still waters of love; the deepest frontier
Time suspended in joy as we remember our tears...
-Jigabod, "Valentine's Anthem"©

You know, St. Valentine's legend is a strange one... because there are three or four of them. St. Valentine's Day is even stranger; another pagan celebration with a Christian twist. I'm not gonna get into all that, you can find it on the Net with little or no effort. But I am gonna do this for St. Valentine...

While we don't know the true story of St. Valentine, one thing we do know is he was a saint; he was a Christian. So I feel it's only right to divulge the meaning of love as written in the Word. I think he'd appreciate that.

Love... well, the Bible says "God is love". Vague, cliche statement? Not as vague as we like to think; cliche only by superficial reasoning. Think about it... God in the person of Christ died for us; and He died for us not while we were saved, but while we were His enemies. Some of us might have enough love in us to die for our friends; how many of us would die willingly for our enemies? That's why God is love.

But that's not all. Did you know there's a "love chapter" in the Bible? Peep it, it's I Corinthians 13. You've probably heard it before: the whole "love is patient, love is kind, love is longsuffering" gig right? But shed some new light on it... It's not just saying that we should be this way if we claim love, but it's also saying that, since God is love, then God is that way toward us as well. Pretty profound huh?

And if you're into intimacy, there's the Song of Solomon, rated TV-14 (this isn't TV!) But lemme get off that, cuz I'm falling waaay off topic...

What does all this have to do with Valentine's Day? Well, ask yourself this... if it's all about this St. Valentine and Christian love, has the day lived up to it's title? If you think about it, it's more about this Cupid character than St. Valentine. So who is Cupid?...

...Easily one of the most misinterpreted characters in holiday history. no, he's not some cute (not cute to me), angelic, Roman, friendly-neighborhood-bowsman in the name of love. Emphasis on the "in the name of love" part. If you do a lil research, Cupid was really more about lust and sexuality than love. Wait a minute, lemme backtrack: that's assuming you know the difference between love and lust and the role of sexuali--- yo, you might wanna peep the earlier blog I wrote, "Love Conquers Lust, Right On". Basically, Valentine's Day started off as a pagan holiday about sexuality and fertility, and Cupid was one of the gods representing it.

So basically what we have is this pagan holiday continuing under this Christian title, and it's halfway about love and halfway about lust. But dadgommit... I'm sick of throwin out holidays mayn. And I kinda like this love thang. So I tried to wake up Mr. Valentine, but bruh was pretty dead. What to do... Well, since we believe in the same Jesus, I borrowed bruh's name a lil bit for this special occasion.

We've got fourteen days people. Let's make this Valentine's Day about love and not lust. And I think it would be best to start it with Valentine's Anthem.

The V-Day Series: The History of Jigabod's Heart

Romancexpress has been on track for quite some time now... Well, no it hasn't. It's all relative, you see? Time has moved faster than the speed of attraction in my life, so I've posted a lifetime of things in a short period. In the frantic pace, I've touched on things pertaining to the heart on several occasions. I think it's appropriate as I start this campaign to give you the chance to revisit them. So... LINK UP!

Beautiful You (You Know Who You Are)

Love Conquers Lust, Right-On

Quest for Fire IV: The Need to Love...

What If...

Love and Duty - or - Love and Racisim

"'Cause What We Feel is Oh-So Real..."

Girl of My Dreams

And Now a Word From the Shortstop.html

Late Night Reflection: True Love Mythology

Mystery and Misery

Um... Oops... How'd this get here?...

Some of these issues will undoubtedly rear their heads again. Why? I dunno... Blame Stupid, lol... (I know I'm being vague, but be patient, I'll explain further as we go)

All LoveB-J

The V-Day Series: Valentine vs Cupid

Aight ladies and gentlemen. Let's make this official: me and this Cupid cat got some SER'US beef. And it can't just sit here and marinate... This means WAR, Stupid!

I know Valentine's Day is supposed to be a time of sentiment and affection (gun cock), but this Valentine's Day will be a day of reckoning. In the days leading up to Valentine's Day I will be writing new works relating to love, lust, and everything in between, as well as bringing up some old posts relating to the topic.

"But why, Jigabod? What are you trying to accomplish?"

It's simple... I'm putting that winged fool out of a job this year! That's right, I'm clippin' the wings off of Stupid.

"But... Didn't Andre 3000 already do this? Are you kinda biting him?"

Maybe... Actually I admire that cat Andre. But there's something important you need to know: love is from above, not below; that's lust. And that's the difference between me and Dre. Any questions?

Good. So from now until V-Day, ladies you can call me Valentine, short for St. Valentine. Fellas... Don't try it... I'll merk you... Word is bond... Fresh nunchuks...

All LoveB-J

IKSO!!!

"Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back."
-Paul Erdos

One of my students, Ikso, threw that quote at me today... ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!? I'M GETTING THAT TATTOOED ON MY SKULL!!!! Do your thang homeboi; I 'preciate that, lol.


All LoveB-J

All a Nukka Could Ask For...

Preface: Nukka (NUG-kuh) - 1995 slang. Dats all u need 2 know...

Aight man... Rough night at work. I mean, it's hard work every night, but tonight was special. Tonight I cleaned up somebody else's mess from the day before PLUS handled late business from the other side da store.

Meanwhile, I had a high school flashback. See, cats I work with ain't exactly saved; big deal, but no big deal, ya dig? Definitely gotta work with the brothas and sistas...

Anywasy, the ladies that work in the back with us are gone for the week so, as we killed time working on late items, the fellas did what fellas do: guy talk. Mmman... it's been a long time since I've been around unbridled, raunchy, raw, unadulterated conversation. Back in middle school, it was much the same; my mom used to say "those kids cussed like sailors!" We had plenty of that and more tonight.

On one hand, things have changed since middle school. I wasn't as comfortable around it as I used to be; I never made a big deal about it, nor did I participate back then, but now I was more repulsed by it. At the same time, some things haven't changed; just like back in middle school, the guys respected me enough not to bring me into it for instance. But also, just like middle school, I felt like the outsider. I mean, I'm always cool with everybody, but I never felt like "one of the guys" ya know? 'Cept for the cats I used to hoop with from my hood. I've always been that cat that walks up on the fellas when they're talking, and they tone down the convo just for me... Like I'm the principal or something.

And somewhere, I realize I still haven't found my "posse"; truth be told, I might never find it. On one hand there's cats I'm cool with that I'm separated from by practical differentiations; on the other hand there's cats I'm cool with that I'm separated from by spiritual standards. And I lean more toward the ones I have spiritual separation with, but that's a barrier I can't cross. Maybe one day I can convince em, and it'll b all good...

So what's up? Nun...chuks. Went out and bought some REAL ones today. They weren't the glass ones I planned on snagging; they're wooden ones, lightweight, good for using. Haven't knocked myself out yet. Shoulda brought em to work today tho; I woulda got the job done sooner and written this sooner as a result.

Big debate about capital punishment today at my church. Didn't really get indepth like I like to, but it was really oriented toward the kids; coulda got real technical and confusing if it wasn't for them. I asked one relevant and divisive question toward the end, but I regret my timing and I hope I didn't throw any of the youngsters off; it's a lot to process at that age. Fuggetaboutit...

I actually sat thru class today. My homie Nikki got herself a new tattoo... as if she had rooom for another, lol. I still remember how my cousin was intrigued by it when we went out to eat one night and she waited our table; they started trading tat-shots, lol. Nikki kept bringing up some stuff about Catherine, ruler of Russia, and a horse. Not going into specifics, but it's all good; Nikki's a hoot to be around.

Back to this work nonsense tho. I wonder would they dare to hang me out to dry like dat again? But like always, that quiet cat won't make a ruckus about it. All a nukka could ask for is for cats to do what the heck they s'posed to do so I don't have to do it for them, and for deez bigheads to gimme my check on payday. That's right: hegg yeah, I get paid for deez extra hours. Now sang the hook...


Playlist: Bobby Creekwater - "Tape Deck"

Fight Night

I don't get to show this side of myself often; I like not being arrested. But after watching "Million Dollar Baby" tonight (and yes, I think I'm adding that to my movie list) I couldn't resist doing this...

I found a movie of a fight between a lion and a tiger... it's NOT STAGED. Like, it was a DEATH MATCH. So this is what I'm gonna do... I'm gonna put this here link up for you to watch the fight, and then I'm gonna give you my official technical and philosophical breakdown! Sound like fun? Warning: animal rights activists, I had nothing to do with the filming of this AWESUMMM fight. It was filmed before, and probably you, were even born. Which brings me to my first point:

Sometimes you gotta let it go, lol.

Lion vs. Tiger: The Frik-kin Main Event!!! Get Those KIDS OUTTA HERE!!!


Okay, you've seen the fight. Here comes the technical breakdown...

Now, in the opening of the fight the tiger was OWNING the lion. But part of this was because he opened the fight on the higher ground. He basically started the fight on the lion's friggin head. AFter that, the tiger demonstrated that he was the more agile animal, striking the lion repeatedly from a raised position and maintaining a strong offense, which kept the lion on the defensive. But it went further; the tiger eventually closed in on the lion and OVERPOWERED it by turning it on it's back. To finish the job, the tiger went in for the kill, locking it's jaws onto the lion's throat in classic finisher style.

So what went wrong? The lion had a secret weapon: the definitive trait of all male lions... his mane. His mane was the only thing that prevented the tiger from ending the fight right then and there. Because of the mane, the tiger could not effectively grip the lion around the throat. Not only this, but the mane absorbed several of the impacts of the tiger's paw flurries, reducing the damage potential of such wild and unfocused attacks. This was the turning point of the fight.

With the tiger facing an opponent who had survived his best attack, the tiger was obviously knocked off-guard. Notice how the tiger begins to retreat; he is surprised that the lion is still alive. Not only this, but he gave up his advantage of controlling the space of the cage. Notice how the lion moves into the center of the cage and begins to reduce the tiger's running room. Then cames the fatal mistake; in retreating, the tiger exposes his backside. Whereas tigers execute prey by going for the jugulars in their necks, lions execute their prey by breaking their backbones. Once the tiger's back is exposed, the lion never allows it to protect itself. Eventually, the lion sinks his teeth into the tiger's back and rips it's backbone apart; you can hear the crack if you listen.

Fatality - Lion Wins

Now for the philosophical breakdown. Notice the critical points of the match; in spite of all the activity in the opening of the fight, there were only four noteworthy parts. They were as follows: the opening pounce, the neck bite by the tiger, the tiger's retreat, and the back bite by the lion. There's a reason why the Bible says "A wise man speaks little." There's a reason why starters don't play in exhibition games. There's a reason why samurai carry blades with only one edge. The theme behind it all: excelling at the small things helps us make it to the finals, but execution in the critical things brings us victories.

All LoveB-J

Boondocks: The Return of the King II

Yo, this isn't me to bring back up a dead subject, but for the sake of a conscious, relevant, and worthy debate that's been going on, I just wanted to make one last post, and I'm gonna leave it alone.

Simply this: peep the commentaries listed at this link (while the link's still hot):

The People's Response

Of course, the meaning of these comments can be debated. Personally I think they show that Aaron McGruder is much more of a fiery satirist with a message for the people than a politically incorrect comedian here to entertain.

Aight I'm done wit it... Off to Canada.

Jesus PeaceB-J

Home Theater

Anybody that knows me knows I'm not big on movies; not that I hate em, I just hate most of the new ones, lol. I'm the type of person where everything I see has to have significance, and if there's no significance, there'd better be HUGE explosions.

Anyway, even though I don't have the cheese to do it right now, I kinda want to start a collection of DVDs for home use. I need the laughs, I need the suspense, I need the sadness, I need the beauty. So I'm taking note of some movies and series I've come across that I want to have for myself. Here's my list so far:

Blazing Saddles (obtained)
The Seven Samurai
Heaven and Earth
The Star Wars Trilogies
The Animated Star Wars Miniseries
Ray
The Fifth Element
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
The Home Movies Series
The Robot Chicken Series
Buck and the Preacher
Glory
A Soldier's Story
The Matrix
Cowboy Bebop: The Movie
The Cowboy Bebop Series
Rush Hour
Rush Hour 2
The Simpsons Series
The Boondocks Series
Tombstone
Wrath of the Ninja
Predator
The Tenchi Muyo Series
The Tenchi Universe Series
The Gundam Wing Series
Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz
The G Gundam Series
Secondhand Lions
Spiderman 2


So you see, I've got a ways to go here. I need more comedy, and definitely more romance; I can't think of a single romance I've watched from start to finish and liked, lol. ...And on that note, for you anime heads, Wrath of the Ninja doesn't count; dude got merked at the end before anything really jumped off between him and tha chick. I need some stuff with some great visual attraction; maybe like "The Cell", but better. I think I can find some of these goodies for cheap. Others, like the series collections, will prolly hit me for a sizable amount. But I'm a very patient cat when I have to be; one way or another, they will be mine, MUWAHAHAHAHAHA....

Jesus PeaceB-J

Old Maid Romance... Bod Style Ginger Beer!

I woke up this morning to winds like I never heard before; trees were bending outside. The power went out about 5-6 times; but Jigabod never set the clocks back, u know me, lol.

But by 3:00, I knew why the winds were so violent... The winds knew that, by 3:45, I would be in the lab blending a special brew of homemade Ginger Beer. Yeah, I was determined to get it just right this time. And what I was about to make would be nuttin but that hottest drink ever... literally.

I pulled out my ingredients... naaah, it wasn't that orderly. I pulled out the ginger and the blender, homie. 'Said to myself, "Now, last time I did this it was not hot enough. 'Think I used two ginger roots, so screw that this time: gimme FOUR!" I pulled out the remains of my last mix, which was two ginger roots, grated and pressed. Then I peeled two fresh ginger roots, grated them, and put both the new and the old ginger in the blender together. TWICE HOT!!! But I wasn't done...

"Now, last time I did this it was a little watery. The store-bought ginger beer uses corn syrup, but I have no idea how much. Let's go back to the lemon pulp to thickin it. But not two this time... GIMME THREE!..." I pulled three lemons from the very back of the fridge. To my surprise, some from the bunch had spoiled. "Man, they got old on me. Okay... gimme three good ones." Little did I know how lemons change over time...

I blended one blenderful of the ginger and water and strained the liquid into the pitcher. I did the same for a half-a-blender portion, and my eyes were burning from the heat of the ginger. I figured I'd use the final half-a-blender portion for only lemons and water. As I prepared and peeled the lemons, I licked one just out of sheer curiosity. HOOOOOO was it bitter!!! Bitter like an old maid! Usually I eat lemons straight, but not these ladies. They had grown SPITEFUL with age... PErfecT, muwahahahahaha... I tossed em right in...

3/4 Ginger Beer to the 4th root; 1/4 Lemonade Old Maid... But I wasn't stupid enough to taste it yet. I went ahead and threw in my 2 cups of that sugar for good measure. 'Poured a glass... "If it kills me, what a way to die..." Took a sip.

The maids hit me first, but after they dropped their bags they got sweet on me and we got along fine. But then, 3 seconds later, the collars came unbuttoned... It got HOT, ladies and gentlemen!!! Hotter than the store-bought, but without the bubbles. And when it was all done, it sat in my chest for the next 5 minutes. HEGG YEAH.

(cue Luchini beat...)
This is it, WHAT! Old Maid Romantic in my cup/
Take a sip, WHAT! Forego that optional vanilla/
Hot licks, WHAT! I need a heater, fill me up/
It's a hit, WHAT! This is it, WHAT!/

lol, All LoveB-J

A Tuned Loon

Pardon the interruption (did I just say that?)

Before I get started, I just gotta say: Shaniece (the singer, u know who I"m talking about...) has the PRETTIEST MOST GORGEOUSEST SMILE I EVER DID SAW. *snap* I was a generation too late...

Now... among all this Boondocks and Paradox, I stopped for a sec and thought I should list some of the cartoon characters I've come to identify with over the years. I love cartoons, and I admit some of my personality traits prolly came from the ones I watched. And if you think I'm Looney Tunes, I won't argue witcha... punchline pending...

1. Bugs Bunny, Looney Tunes - Bugs Bunny is a gangsta, I dont' care what anybody says. Bugs' whole lifestyle was making mockery of cats. But then, it was never BB that initiated the conflict; it was just always BB that finished it. How it should be, lol. I remember one time this cat even stood in for the Road Runner and matched wits with Wile E. Coyote. But the rabbi was too sharp for the fall guy. Now, I wasn't down with that cross-dressing stuff, that was a little too much. But overall, Bugs might as well have been named Seagel.

2. Colossus, X-Men - "The heart of a poet" is what was always said about Colossus. But you gotta realize, Colossus is the literal "man-of-steel". A hard outside hid a soft interior. That's what really made him powerful to me; he had a heart that matched his exterior. And if you follow his story to the bitter end, you learn that his heart was made of something stronger than even his steel form.

3. Piccolo, Dragonball Z - MAN I love this cat. I hate the fact that he's the only real "brotha" on the show, and he's a green Namekian with antennae, lol. But even at that, he's a great character. He isolates himself, spends his time meditating and training, and trained some of the greatest fighters on the show. He's always serious, and is always considered a threat even when his power level is waaay beneath others on the show because his mind is so sharp. He's the guy that respects the badguys on the show because he knows a warrior when he sees one, regardless of whether they're good or evil. He's the Batman of Dragonball Z, lol. Which leads to my next character...

4. Batman, Justice League - Maybe the greatest superhero of all time. He dwells with a bunch of superpowered beings... and he can't stand them, lol. He always ends up saving the Justice League despite their "superiority". Rather than live in the space base, he resides in the Batcave. And he should have that right; after all, he bought the space base in the first place... the bums, lol. All the women love him, he has the illest ride, the biggest brain, the most common sense, a butler, his own pad, mad respect, and a black outfit. How gangsta?...

5. Samurai Jack, Samurai Jack - A wandering samurai. You already know my stance here. Always in self-reflection. Never overestimates himself. Respects every opponent as he decimates them. Lives in harmony with most. Deep-seated anger hidden in a constant state of calmness. Altruistic nature. Boom...

6. Spike, Cowboy Bebop - The Red Coyote; a sick martial artist packing a gun and ducking his real life. He lives in a space station as a bounty hunter with just his homeboy, a sweet thief with a T-Boz cut, an annoying kid and a dog. He has nothing to lose and lives with a constant price on his head. He goes to an indian priest for advice. He has a fake eye and no one can even tell. But I love the saying from the show that comes with all that: "You're gonna carry that weight". I gotta tell myself that a lot...

7. Leonardo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Now this is something; I like both the old and the new Leonardo because they have similar natures. Basically, of all the turtles Leo was the best student, the one constantly training, constantly improving. He wasn't arrogant, didn't play around. It's more evident in the new series. You might call him "teacher's pet" if you're immature; it's only cuz you know he'd kick ur arse. That's what I like about him, lol.

8. Charlie Brown, Peanuts - This is my white brother right here. We know 'bout gettin the short end of the stick. But like Spike, we carry that weight. And in the end, it always seems to work out somehow. Sometimes, I'm like Chuck on that one show when he looked up in the night sky and said, "Why me, Lord?" But we get up the next day and take whatever the world has to dish and find out it's not so bad.

9. Goku, Dragonball Z - Sometimes I hate this cat cuz he reminds me of Superman. But one thing he and I have in common that I can't deny: hunger for growth. I like a challenge, and sometimes it's not enough to just win. It's not really about winning and losing with me: it's about discovering myself in the midst of the conflict, just like Goku. Goku fights, but he's most excited when things are most critical. He wants to win, but he moreso wants to know what he's capable of. If he puts it all on the table and comes up short, that's when he's really alive as he scrambles to find the missing piece of himself that may or may not be there to save the day. And he gets true enjoyment from a good competitor, even if they're gonna destroy the whole world.

10. Huckleberry Hound, Huckleberrry Hound - Mayn, this was a cool sunnava b... (well he was!!!) here. All he did was sing "Oh My Darlin" all the time and talk slow. And yet... cat would get this look on his face sometimes... I think Huck would do a cat if he got pissed enough, lol...

11. Huey, The Boondocks - Man, this cat is like... me if I was a child again knowing what I know now, lol. And if I'm correct and he's named after Huey P. Newton, then Newton and I probably have a lot in common. Huey feels alone a lot of the time just because he uses common sense to draw a lot of conclusions. The people closest to him don't get him in the least. And he has a lot of appreciation for his enemies, if only for being his enemies consistently. I often feel the same way. There's nothing like an enemy you can count on because, even if they switch sides, you don't lose any ground; you expect the worst from them and either get the worst, or a pleasant surprise. I actually look up to the shorty, cuz I get tired sometimes. But just like he got MLK up on the show, he keeps me lit when I watch him cuz I'm thinkin to myself, "That's me right there" lol.


I know I'm missing some, but it's no biggie. Now for that punchline... If you think I'm Looney Tunes, then you might be Elmer Fudd. ...Nah, that's too easy.

If you think I'm Looney Tunes then turn the station.<-------Bam, there it is, lol All LoveB-J

THE BOONDOCKS!!!!!

I have GOT to meet Aaron McGruder one day!!! After this episode of The Boondocks, "The Return of the King", I'm convinced he and I are on the same page. It's not a game anymore folks... (sidenote... notice even MLK wants to go to CANADA. I TOLD YA'LL, CANADA is the LICK, lol)

Hustler on the Turntables

Hustler - 1. One who sells or promotes energetically and aggressively. 2. One who makes strenuous efforts to secure money or business.

^^^^^That's for any of you who would otherwise think, "He's becoming a hustler? Oh, the world is influencing him so much! Shame on him!" Look... it's Friday the 6th. It's going on 5 o'clock and I not-too-long-ago got in from work. In a few hours, my life as a hustler begins.

I'm already anticipating my first power-moves. And I'm starting things off by experiencing one of the greatest lessons a hustler can learn: sacrifice. Before the day is over, I will more than likely no longer possess my class ring, and possibly my guitar, which has actually been a comfortable place for me to rest my head on several occasions. I'm even considering pawning my prized white-oak bokken (wooden sword), which I will miss dearly. Pawn shops and music stores trying to scrape up enough cash to pay for one measly class... Actually it's deeper than that. I'm sacrificing this stuff so that I WON'T have to pay for them. The name of the game is protect my checking and savings accounts as much as possible. The pawns will provide the cushion I need to make it happen. Not to mention, right on schedule, I got my paycheck tonight.

One class may not be much and financially it's more sound to pay for a full load at once, but in making this move what I really bought is time. Time to delay whatver forces are attempting to force my hand and time to capitalize on income. With the one class, I'm eligible to resume work as a student assistant if I desire, which will add a healthy total to my paycheck at Target. But more importantly, I had an epiphany at work last night: I should sew up the campus.

That's right. I'm gonna take my productions to the bank. I"m hitting the campus this semester with no intention short of selling beats and making a name for myself and my associates. And since I'll be a student there, I'm totally free to do it. I'm gonna hustle the entire campus.

I never thought I'd have this kinda mentality, but I must admit, it's very interesting. I've often wondered what type of person I would become if my back was to the wall. I never thought the role of a hustler would suit me, but something tells me it can work. So hear I am, Hustler on the Turntables. My first job: I'm about to snag a few Z's, before the sun comes up...

All LoveB-J

So High...

When I was little, I had a fear of heights. Heh... I got over it chasing girls; two young ladies said they were afraid to get on a roller coaster, so me and my ace boon stuck our chests out and showed 'em how it was done. To this day, I'm a lot more tolerant of high places...

Or maybe I'm not. You see, in light of the passing of my mother, my life has changed drastically. I'm in a position now where I can make serious decisions that could determine my future. Like right now, I can afford to pay my own tuition in school, meaning I'm finally in control of my own educational destiny. But it's not that easy; tomorrow, I'm gonna pawn my class ring to get the extra money. It's not that I can't afford to pay for it myself, but my plan is to save as much as possible, and losing that ring won't hurt me in the least. So I sacrifice the ring to keep the vast majority of my bank account; eventually the interest from that will more than make up for the loss.

Then there's the clincher... I'm not gonna be a full time student this time. The name of the game is: "only take what you can afford, and only you will have any say in your educational progress." If I can afford to take even one class, I can go to work on campus and reel in an extra $140-$200 on the side; more interest. The family wouldn't like this sideshow if they found out about it, but I just can't take the pressure of having them on my back... Best not to think about it.

Even further in the background, I'm reaching for support from friends. I'm planning and working on musical projects with the intent of making it work this time. I'm building relationships, sharpening my skills, and praying for the business sense to see it all come to pass. I hate from the bottom of my heart to say it, but money is something I'm gonna actually have to consider; at some point, the purity of the art may be lost to some degree. I'll never surrender my goals, but they may not be reached in the way I would've wanted.

I feel shaky because I'm walking a tightrope... Stepping gingerly, making my rounds... Not making any sudden moves, not making any sounds... Not looking down, not absorbing the fullness of the situation at hand... It's too high up, I have to focus on reaching the other side... Focus on the stability to come, when you reach the other side; when your dreams come true... But in the back of my mind, I know I'm so high...

Child Stars Collapse

I've been meaning to get this off my chest for a long time... What better time than in the wake of the collapse of Lindsey Lohan...

I told my sister a few weeks ago that Lindsey Lohan was hanging with Kate Moss, who had just been caught with cocaine, right... So now I hear that Lindsey Lohan has just admitted to drug use, and for some reason it's news. Go figure.

Look, I'll get to my point. When are cats gonna realize that Hollywood is no place for kids? I mean, it's no place for adults anyway, but for kids, how much worse? Take Lindsey for instance. I remember Freaky Friday and all that jazz; she was a cutie. So one week she went from cute to hot, and I'm seeing all these risque pictures. Next thing I know, she's a starlet. Next thing she's released an album. Now she's collapsed... Now she's on drugs...

This isn't the first time, nor is it the only scenario. There's the Christina Milian I saw in the Oscar the Grouch shirt hosting MTVs wannabe. Next time I saw her, she was in this sexy Japanese bath robe, sliding around in oil. There's Nick Cannon who went from Nickelodeon to MC "put the kids to bed". I never wish bad things on anybody, but pray for Hilary Duff...

Something is terribly wrong right now. I can't put my finger on it, but if you ask me Disney, Nickelodeon, MTV, and the Red Carpet are waay to close to each other. It's like, they raise up young talent in front of young audiences, then at some point they graduate to the pop scene, then they turn into starlets and totally lose their innocence. But what bothers me is that the young audience follows their heroes from start to finish. And no, "put the kids to bed" is not going to make those young eyes stop watching; if anything, you'll get their undivided attention.

Am I paranoid? It seems like the industry has this assembly line: they create performers and burn them out to generate profits. And it's nothing for them to take child stars and shape them into corrupted, older versions of their former selves. It breaks my heart and pisses me off at the same time to see the performers degenerate, but then to see their followers idolize them even in their decline.

That's why I love Raven Symone. She's managed to weather the industry's influence. And I don't doubt her scruples in the least bit; she's a talented young lady and I'm convinced she'll be a good woman, a real prize for whoever marries her. But I can't help but wonder, if she was Hollywood's ideal body type, would even she be still standing...

Of course I wish Lohan a speedy recovery. But there should be some kind of child-star advocacy group, or some laws or something to protect them and prevent them from self-destructing. Or at least strong families to protect them, which Lohan was short on judging by her album.

I still maintain that Hollywood is a beast that needs to be dealt with. The welfare of a child is worth more than any amount of profits they could ever generate.

Voltron Unlimited: Big 6, More Pending

RESULTS RESULTS!!! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT!

lol... I know whatcha thinkin... "Didn't you say you were gonna tak your time?" In a way, with the addition of a 6th man, I was taking my time. you see, it wasn't either of the two I was looking to add who turned out to be the 6th man; it was a friend from high school who I already know fairly well. We actually worked together with my homie Swim over the summer, but somewhere along the way we lost touch--- combinations of school and work worked to our disadvantage. But it was a friendly departure, and now we're back in effect. It feels GOOD.

He's not a "certified" businessman, but he's got a natural knack for hustle (LEGAL hustle... benefit of the doubt please...) He's also got an ear for music and, though our tastes are slightly different, his more urban and mine more indy, I think his ear and my ear working together will create a more rounded sound. I can't wait! Welcome back.

Now... PRAYERFULLY AND CAUTIOUSLY, more pending, lol...

Voltron Unlimited: 5 on the Dreadnaught, more Pending

Aw man... No sooner than I make my goals plain, I run into a strong candidate for the fifth member of the crew. I got into a spiritual/practical/social discussion with this cat and talked for 3 HOURS!!! Messed around and missed church talking about God, lol...

Anywasy, I've known this cat for a while, but we never had a chance to sit down and really exchange. But like he said, it was inevitable that we cross eventually. I always felt like something must be going on in his head even when he was goofing off, cuz I know his roots. Sure enough, it turns out he's just like me! He studies MCs and wants to make music to combat the industry. In other words, he's a student... and you know how studious cats sit with me already.

He's a good writer, but most importantly he LOVES to perform. We need that because as of yet we don't have a member who's emphasis is performance; I've performed several times before, but not enough to claim expertise. Also, I hate mixing, but he loves it. So he can take the burden off me in that department, plus I can learn enough from him that I can fill in if necessary.

I also see that this cat is very business-minded, which is going to be tricky. We do need business-sense, no doubt. At the same time we don't wanna be money-motivated. But with cautious progression, we can put it all in concert, holding to our values and being profitable at the same time.

Codename: Black Man - for the perspective that he takes on all matters

As far as others pending, I'd like to thank Joe for a new connection... to a SUPERPRODUCER!!! I went to Joe's crib on New Year's Eve. He let me hear a demo of a producer that works at the same Target as Joe, Clyde, and I. This quiet, short-statured, nonchalant cat is AMAZING! He's got an industry sound, but it's quality too. It doesn't have the homegrown feel that I try to keep with my beats, which isn't a bad thing necessarily, just different; he sounds like a professional. But legend has it... he does production for FUN! Of course I'm thinking about picking this cat up, and Joe's definitely putting pressure on me to make the move, lol. But I wanna talk to the cat and see what he's about first; but if he does what he does for fun, I think a link-up should be feasible. If it goes thru, our start will be much like that Georgia vs. West Virginia game in the first quarter... I know you saw that my fellow Georgians...

Secondly, my oldest comrade and I are chatting again. We always went strong together; she's still the one who got me into this music thing in the first place. She's a serious rhymer who truly knows rhyme, plus she knows what to say. Probably the most passionate MC I know period; she's a female Tupac, lol. Not forcing anything, but if we can get back in the studio together... man.


But MUCH PRAYER will go into all of this; I've learned a lot over time, lol. It's still early, so I know better than to let my guard down. Meantimes, I'm gonna prepare my crib to become the dreadnaught for a new squadron...