Unlearned

The term post-modern comes to mind immediately as I write this, even though I don't think it fits exactly. Post-modernism: rejecting the scientific method and putting trust in things less logical. Or somethin like that...

Anyway, I was doing some thinking today... actually it was last night, chatting with my lil sis. I was talking about not knowing and not understanding things in life. As I recall, it was centered around the movie about Ron Clark that I mentioned in my last two entries, and also about the prospect of me becoming a teacher.

Did I ever tell you why I didn't want to be a teacher, aside from the fact that I hate school? Well... I'll put it to you the way I put it in a verse: "'didn't become a teacher because I understood/ the school system's burning; the teachers are just wood/ but it could be corrected if the parents just would.../". Put it like this; there's a problem with school systems all over the country; parents aren't doing their jobs. And the responsibility has fallen on the teachers to "hold down the fort" until they come back to their senses. The prollem is, since nobody's holding these parents accountable, the likelihood of them coming back to their senses is nil.

So, in my possibly-misguided mind, I'm thinking, "Why in the world would I want to become part of a temporary solution that will give these parents more room to continue their neglect?" You see, one of the reasons I am the way I am is because I was taught to think logically. No joke, I was in special classes as a youth that emphasized critical thinking, and now that's pretty much what I do with any situation I'm faced with. So my logic tells me, becoming a teacher is like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound; taking a cough suppressant for bronchitis; leaving all the lights off for the sake of a blind person. And I see that the real problem is in the homes, and my mind won't let me settle for anything less than a real solution that directly addresses that.

Still, I still have that sinking feeling that I am being called to teach. And it got me to thinking: the value of knowledge must be relative. I gave my little sister this example:

"Suppose you were afraid of spiders, and you were in a maze or something. And one of the requirements is to pass through a room covered in spiders. But you didn't know this.

And suppose when you reach this room, before you see the spiders, a guide tells you to close your eyes. And then he dictates to you where to step, where not to step, and eventually you get through the room no problem. But had your eyes been open, you would not even have ventured into the room. Sometimes knowledge can be your worst enemy; when you hafta accomplish a task in spite of the knowledge provided."

So, in my case, if I am called to teach, it would be a move beyond all my reasoning. And I would hafta "unlearn" all my reasoning and do the most illogical thing; become a piece of mere piece of wood to a furnace that needs to be extinguished. I mean, I know schools can't be starved for workers; there are valuable children who need to be taught regardless of the situation. So while "we're" (assuming I go thru with this) getting shafted to buy time for a solution, who's job is it to actually do the solving? That's where it falls apart for me; there is no one actually making effective solutions while the teachers are being used up.

But hey, what can I say... It brings me back to the post-modernism idea; wouldn't this be the perfect time to exercise that thing we like to call faith? I mean, me being a teacher would be the dumbest, most illogical, frustrating, contra-ideal move I could see myself making. Nothing short of faith would make it tolerable for me. Perhaps that's the scheme; make Jigabod become a teacher to reduce him to relying totally on his faith.

But this makes me think about something I read in the Bible; I don't remember the verse, but God was talking about how some things He doesn't tell us because our minds couldn't handle it. I always thought that that meant they were things beyond our ability to conceive, like maybe ideas that human language couldn't contain or images so holy they would destroy us. Nah... I mean, it might be that too, but I think I have a new perspective on He meant. I think He meant there are some things that, if we knew them, they wouldn't make any logical sense to us, and we'd refuse to do them. And yet they must be done, for whatever reason is in His plan. So, like in the spider example I gave to my sister, we are kept in the dark to protect us from our fears, and even from our own logic. The Bible tells us to gain knowledge, but simultaneous there is knowledge that God protects us from so that we can do those things we hafta do. Go figure

(cough) But, as I am a man of logic as much as a man of faith, I gotta ask one more time: who's job is it to actually do the solving while "we're" getting shafted to buy time, assuming I go thru with this teaching thing... I don't expect an answer, it's just a hypothetical question.