Old Maid Romance... Bod Style Ginger Beer!

I woke up this morning to winds like I never heard before; trees were bending outside. The power went out about 5-6 times; but Jigabod never set the clocks back, u know me, lol.

But by 3:00, I knew why the winds were so violent... The winds knew that, by 3:45, I would be in the lab blending a special brew of homemade Ginger Beer. Yeah, I was determined to get it just right this time. And what I was about to make would be nuttin but that hottest drink ever... literally.

I pulled out my ingredients... naaah, it wasn't that orderly. I pulled out the ginger and the blender, homie. 'Said to myself, "Now, last time I did this it was not hot enough. 'Think I used two ginger roots, so screw that this time: gimme FOUR!" I pulled out the remains of my last mix, which was two ginger roots, grated and pressed. Then I peeled two fresh ginger roots, grated them, and put both the new and the old ginger in the blender together. TWICE HOT!!! But I wasn't done...

"Now, last time I did this it was a little watery. The store-bought ginger beer uses corn syrup, but I have no idea how much. Let's go back to the lemon pulp to thickin it. But not two this time... GIMME THREE!..." I pulled three lemons from the very back of the fridge. To my surprise, some from the bunch had spoiled. "Man, they got old on me. Okay... gimme three good ones." Little did I know how lemons change over time...

I blended one blenderful of the ginger and water and strained the liquid into the pitcher. I did the same for a half-a-blender portion, and my eyes were burning from the heat of the ginger. I figured I'd use the final half-a-blender portion for only lemons and water. As I prepared and peeled the lemons, I licked one just out of sheer curiosity. HOOOOOO was it bitter!!! Bitter like an old maid! Usually I eat lemons straight, but not these ladies. They had grown SPITEFUL with age... PErfecT, muwahahahahaha... I tossed em right in...

3/4 Ginger Beer to the 4th root; 1/4 Lemonade Old Maid... But I wasn't stupid enough to taste it yet. I went ahead and threw in my 2 cups of that sugar for good measure. 'Poured a glass... "If it kills me, what a way to die..." Took a sip.

The maids hit me first, but after they dropped their bags they got sweet on me and we got along fine. But then, 3 seconds later, the collars came unbuttoned... It got HOT, ladies and gentlemen!!! Hotter than the store-bought, but without the bubbles. And when it was all done, it sat in my chest for the next 5 minutes. HEGG YEAH.

(cue Luchini beat...)
This is it, WHAT! Old Maid Romantic in my cup/
Take a sip, WHAT! Forego that optional vanilla/
Hot licks, WHAT! I need a heater, fill me up/
It's a hit, WHAT! This is it, WHAT!/

lol, All LoveB-J