The Team: For the Students

Ah yes. The Students. The Students of the Sunken City. The Students of the Final Curtain. The Students of the Speak Life School. The Students of that sought me out on some random late-night. The Students in rhyme as well as the Students in Life.

You know, they say the best way to remember something is to teach it to someone else. I thank God that I have people willing to listen that I can pass my knowledge to in the two areas I know well: music and life. The cats I'm about to rap about are the cats that would and still hit me up at the most inconvenient times (nah, ur good), show me their verses, ask for feedback whether I like it or not (for real, I ain't always up to it playas, lol), tell me about their victories and defeats in rhyme as well as life.

No matter how tired I get, I enjoy havin ya'll come to me for whatever. One day, you cats will be greater than any of us older MCs, because you're good listeners. Just look at some of the older students, Timmy Wood and Snype: they're almost untouchable now. It pays to be studious, whether it be in rhyme or in life. Keep an open, objective mind; observe and take things in; never think you have it all figured out; challenge yourself and don't get content; don't compare yourself to others. These are just a few things I want ya'll cats to hold on to. Of course there are many others.

If I don't list u here, don't get blow'd at me, lol. Just hit me up on the late night tip like u always do and POLITELY lemme know. My brain is waaaaaaay fried wit all these blog entries.

Fayt - Aw man. This was a bold cat. One of the first Students I ever had. The first cat to call me Sensai, lol. He has a lot of heart and determination.

Pride - We talked recently, and after a hiatus he decided to leave battling as well. Now it's about sharpening back up.

Vizualizah - This the most soulful of the Students I've had. His content is very thought provoking and he was heavily influenced by Nas. To be 14, he's a very deep cat. So we have really meaningful conversations. He also has a way with words; something he naturally had before he ever came to me for advice. Recently he introduced me to his best friend as well, so a quick shout out to Viz's homie as well.

Brizzle - Not a Netcee, but a realtime student. Spent a lot of time in the studio wit me this summer. He's a child of the mainstream, but he's a listener too. A little arrogant, but it makes things interesting, lol. He's got a nice voice, and with a little training he could use his talent and persona to be something special.

Prophecy - lol... This cat ALWAYS got jokes when we chat. I first noticed him cuz he had an avatar closely related to mine. From there, we just started chattin on a regular basis and he'd submit verses for me to dissect.

T-Bone - Another realtime student. Haven't been able to spend the time I'd like to spend with this cat, but I can tell he's a warrior so I'm looking forward to seeing what he'll put out. In some ways he reminds me of myself circa 10th/11th grade; a lot of suppressed heat.

Ikso - Ohhh man... Out of all the cats I've EVER met online period... Genius is something that's so obvious when you see it. When you meet somebody that can do what most cats need an hour to do in a matter of seconds... And I'm not talking just writing a verse. I'm talking writing an IMPECCABLE verse. He's 14 years old and already on par with the greatest of the veteran MCs I've known. Yet he comes to me for advice? All I can do is pre-congratulate him, lol. Recently he joined the Horsemen, my former squad. He definitely will keep them at the top for years to come... DEFINITELY.

Timmy Wood - One of my first-first students. But as far as I'm concerned, thsi cat is a grad. I knew it would only be a matter of time the day he told me he was going to isolate his lines and perfect them individually. I was like "Is this cat reading my mind?!"

Exile - X has this unique style that has always been with him. He rhymes in waves, lol. He writes a line that blows your mind, then eases down, then blows your mind again, then eases down. It balances out to make for some great writing. If he could just stay at that peak level on all his lines!

DJ Q - I remember when Q first came to Stankonia and we would cypher at night. Cat would come up with the craziest metaphors, and I was like "If he ever gets control of that..." WEll... he has control of it now. Peep his site, www.rapn4fx.com.

Lions Gate - The illusive one, lol. We've chatted for over a year now, and I still don't know anything about this cat. Except one interesting point...he's more of a poet than an MC. Nuttin wrong with that, cuz it's all about self-expression. Just don't box the playa in and let him work, lol.

JRid 3000 - The Geordie, lol. This the youngest student I've got, reppin the UK. I like this cat because he's always got questions. Asking questions takes you far in life. His style has grown tremendously in about 2 weeks, so I'm eager to see him reach the top of his game to see what it looks like when Brits get down, lol.


I'm sure there are others, but I only got so many brain cells left, people. Though most of our dealings are music affiliated, one thing I know is that a lot of these cats have struggles in real time; some of these cats are so good at what they do because it's their only outlet. On account of that, with my last sane thoughts, I would like to say this to all my students: rapping, poetry, good advice... it's all nothing if you don't have Jesus Christ in your life. If you trust me to help make you better MCs, then trust me on something that really counts. I'm not telling you to be anything in life or do anything to succeed; if you get Jesus Christ in your life, you'll not only succeed, but you'll know what true success is. I know I sound like a religious fanatic, but I wouldn't be real if I held back something this vital from you, right?

Meanwhile, a ginger beer toast... All Love to my homies, The StudentsB-)

The Team: The Horsemen and Co.

"Your bootleg was prosthetic, doctored by studio medics/
Zipped up in plastic bags and marketed as anasthetics/"

In 2001, I could rhyme... I could rhyme very nicely actually. But to write lines like the ones above... That took a lot of time, teaching, and training. I couldn't do it by myself.

But thru Stankonia, I've met cats who are elite amongst MCs; after seeing their verses, the common radio MCs don't thrill me anymore. I'd like to introduce you to the Horsemen.

The Horsemen are a band of deadly lyricists, originating in StankTown and now residing on www.Rapn4fx.com. Some of these guys I've known since the beginning of my weblife; some I haven't known so long, but they've impressed me nonetheless. They transformed me from unfocused sleeping potential into a true lyrical warrior with a conscious mastery words.

Now, don't get me wrong, battling never sat well with me, as I don't believe in insulting people and I don't think God wants us to do it. I spent my whole battle career rhyming without cursing against some of the best MCs you could imagine, and the handicap became a strengthening element that made me progress extremely quickly. But I never liked battle rapping, and I finally left it for good recently. The real reason I battled at first was to gain lyrical prowess (thought I had a couple of angry skirmishes too), and these cats helped me to find what I was looking for. From my first real battle with Cause of DEF, to my final battle against Battle Rhyming itself, side-by-side with Air Punisher, it's been quite a ride, and I have mad respect for these cats. And it's good to know that they respect me too. How do I know they respected me? Because I had the honor of being a Horseman; it really meant a lot to me to be counted with them. And it was hard for me to leave it, but when it's time, it's time, right? lol I'll find another place someday.

I called this post Horsemen and Co. because there have been a few others besides the Horsemen who have influenced my rhyming.

The Horsemen and Co.

Defcon_5 - lol... I don't really know much about this cat. Except that he's like the DEFCON_5 of the Horsemen! I've seen his name for years, but he was gone for a looooong time. He finally came back, and COD grabbed him right up... and after seeing a few of his verses I understand why, lol.

Billy Gunz/William Pistols - This cat is Legendary. Legend has it he taught COD. They call him the Drunken Master, because it's nothing for him to write a career-ending rhyme in just a few minutes, even when he's drunk, lol. Well... except for that one time I battled him... by the skin of my teethB-P Furthermore, on the audio side, Gunz has the most professional delivery I've seen from a netcee yet. He may be on the soundtrack to a game soon, so hopefully you'll get to hear him too.

Cause of DEF - The Cause. This cat is like my sensai. He handed me my first defeat, but he saw potential in me in one line: "I'ma hit you so hard that the seismograph gon' match the latest AOL." That one line set me on a course for rhyming enlightenment. And years later, while I was on a winning streak, I thought I'd test my skills against the sensai again. I came to discover that, as great as this cat had been wiping the floor with his opponents, he was holding back the whole time! So yeah, I got mopped again... But as I wiped the blood from my mouth, he commended me on forcing him to pull out the stops. Knowing that he actually put forth an effort to beat was good enough for me to accept defeat from him, lol. Peep his blogsite, www.curtissdrive.blogspot.com.

G-Shock - Aw man. I had the greatest battle of my career against this cat. It was my first victory against a vet. It was soooooo close, and it forced me to use everything I had in my arsenal at the time. I'm thankful because that was the battle that set the standard for me; I knew that I'd have to write lines like those consistently in order to earn my stripes. The opening lines of this article came from that great match. And I still see this cat as my equal, if not my better.

G-Rex - The wise one. A aspiring priest with a way with words. G-Rex is so knowledgeable about things and holds on to so many facts. Which is why you never wanna battle him in a topical battle. But I did... three times, lol. And I lost... three times. But he used my tenacity to teach me some things along the way. Now I'm known for topicals too, lol.

High Kill - This is one of the cats that kept me hungry to improve. I remember one time, because I fully got on the battle scene, I noticed his classic avatar. It's a scene from a Bruce Lee movie, Enter the Dragon I think. In the scene, Bruce Lee is arm-to-arm with a challenger, then he strikes the cat in the face so quick you barely see it. Well, I noticed the avatar, and I wrote a whole verse around it. High Kill noticed it and complimented me, saying with a little more work I could really be something. From there, events transpired that led me to become that something.

Kross Ova - Another mystery cat, lol. I never talked much to him, but I've seen his name around for ages. One day Cause just hit us with the announcement, "Kross is one of us". I trust Cause's judgment, so I watched Kross in action. Pretty soon it was obvious that Cause had made the right decision.

Complexity - The "woman's touch" of the crew. Not from Stankonia.com, but a deadly MC nonetheless. I bug her every now and again... Okay I can't lie. I'm doing it cuz Cause told me she's a dime and I wanna see for myself, lol. But nah, she really is a deadly lyricist with a unique style. And in battles, she definitely reps.

Steven Kang - lol... I think this is the "hot-head" of the crew. He's bold and very (maybe too much) confident. But because of that, when we competed with crews, he was always on the frontline. I remember one time he told us to just let him take on everybody in the opposing crew, lol. Of course we didn't do that, but it's inspirational when somebody has that much gump.

Ikso - When I left the Horsemen, I wanted somebody to fill in the gap; even tho I'm not a battle MC anymore, I didn't wanna see my old crew have a weak spot. I ran into Ikso thru one of my "students" from outside of Stankonia. It took a long time to prove it to the rest... but Ikso... Ikso might be the greatest MC ever on the Net. At 14, his mind is... I can't even explain it. He comes to me for advice, but what he shows me is superior to what it would take me a week to compose. And he does it in seconds. All I can do is ask him what he's going to do once he wins the match. And he doesn't even want to pursue writing! He wants to be an engineer!!! lol

Air Punisher - Ahh, the great Pun. He's not a Horseman; he's the leader of another crew, the A-Team. The most "gangsta" MC I've come across, lol. Most of the beefs that have occurred within the battle arena have involved Pun. The greatest beef was between him and Billy Gunz. I have no idea how it got started, but it lasted for years I think, lol. I don't think it was really anger-motivated though. Pun is a hungry MC who always pursues the throne, and Gunz just happened to be sitting on it. In their last battle, Pun launched a 10:00 minute series of battle songs called the Epic. That's dedication, lol. Outside of battling, Pun and I have talked on several occasions. And I've found that of all the MCs I know, he is the most warriorlike, which I identify with myself. So when it was time for me to retire, it was Pun who went to the last round-up with me, and we dropped "The Mission and the Journey".

Tiga - I called her LJ in an earlier "The Team" post. She's not a Horseman either. She doesn't consider herself a battle rapper, but she's respected by every battler that knows her, lol. Again, I credit her for just introducing me to Stankonia in the first place. I guess she set it all in motion in retrospect.


So now... I am a true MC, fully capable of writing the lines to achieve whatever I set out to achieve. And when I get to where I aspire to be, I'd like to meet all these cats face to face. Cause told me about a dream he had one time of all of us being on the same stage together, embarrassing all these garbage MCs u hear on the radio. The more I thnk about it, the more it seems like a very pleasant dreams. And pleasant dreams belong in reality.

Speaking of pleasant dreams, I wanna see all ya'll cats in Heaven too, so if you haven't already, get a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It won't be the same up there without cha...

Now get up on this ginger beer and toast wit me. All Love to the Horsemen and Co.B-)

The Team: For the Stanks

STANKTOWN, GIT DOWN, lolol. Man, this is another one I gotta credit LJ for. See, we're both big OutKast fans, and back in 2001 it was LJ who introduced me to the site www.stankonia.com. Yo... all jokes aside... this site changed my life.

It was my first web community. And to this day it's still the WEIRDEST one I've seen, lol. The funniest thing I can remember was the time cats started giving away their races. All day I was like "YOU'RE White?" YOU'RE White?!" "YOU'RE BLACK!!!" It was so great, because somehow the fact that people had to tell what race they were just proved how insignificant it was.

Speaking of race, we have a race war on the site like clockwork every year. It's the strangest phenomenon. Matter of fact, our site is filled with conflict. Maybe that's what keeps it alive. There's always a big fight, but then everybody's so close when it's over with.

You see some of the CRAZIEST stuff at the least expected times on StankTown... We've had cats get mocked by picture editing, cats playing the dozens for weeks, cats threatening to pay house visits, invasions from other sites, presidencies, parties (courtesy of yours truly B-)), births, deaths, political campaigns, tournaments, excommunications.... We've even had a celebrity come thru and join the site! Not to long ago Esthero actually joined us; I knew it was her because i recognized the writing style from her own site. Unfortunately our site crash and eliminated the most recent members. By the way... it's very very bad when the site crashes because we have go to other people's sites... but we have no home training, so some of us act a plum fool, lol. I'm not gonna go into detail, but some terrible things happen to unsuspecting people when a Stank has photoshop and a picture of BeetleJuice (not the ghost, the midget... but you should still be very afraid).

But I'm getting antsy... let's get to the Stanks themselves. Stankonia.com is the wildest conglomerate of unpredictables you ever wanna meet. We've got the nicest of the nice, the meanest of the mean, the smartest of the smart, and the veeeery far opposite, lol. I could never list all of em... actually... I might could (<---SUPER BAD GRAMMAAAAR, lol), but I'll just list some of the most notorious ones and whoever else comes to mind. Now some of these I'm going to mention again soon. T3 - THIS BROTHA USED TO BE ONE MEAN SON OF A GUN!!! Running cats off the site, lol. It was bad, and I was always trying to coax people to come back, but in a way I was proud of him, lol. And even though he's reformed now, it takes a certain diligence to be so good at something like that; definitely one of my favorite White people in the world. But one thing I can say without a doubt, he's a TRUE Dungeon Family fan. Check out the site he administrates, www.dungeoneze.com.

Shullbit - lol... Yeah, he's known for that tenacity at making life hard for cats too. He's been at it so long, but I never get tired of it. I think he's probably somehow a big part of the reason the site is what it is.

DaStank1 - The mysterious administrator. The only thing I know is that he's an intelligent brotha... a cat I've talked to in the past, but never got close enough to drain for all his knowledge, lol. But there are days to come yet...

Eclosis - This brotha... I have so much respect for this brotha. He shares my taste in women, lol. He used to rotate avatars between pictures of beautiful women. And he knows how to pic the classy ones too: the pics that come off as risque, but dont' take it too far. I used to jump online some days and get the most pleasant surprises! lol

Unknown Mutant 3000 - lol, Fellow Greater Augustan. I gotta meet this cat for myself one day. When Eclosis isn't bringin the beautiful pics, UKM3000 fills in the gap for a brotha. Much obliged, homie.

IntelligentDemeanor - All I can say is this is a smoove one. Her writing style is unmistakeable, lol. Offsite we've talked several times, and she comes off real cool. Can't wait to catch up to ya again, Miss.

Iluvkast & Plain Jane - These are like the two "girls next door" on the site. It's funny watching how cool these two can be in the midst of the turmoil that cats keep up on the site.

G-Rex - A wealth of information who has "schooled me" via topical rhyme defeat on numerous occasions. I'm gonna get back to this cat, lol.

Notlikedarest - I met this one at a Net party I threw on the site a few years ago. She's a cutie, and we've had several good conversations. Hope school's goin well for ya; it STILL sux down here!!! (but we get by, one day at a time, lol)

Lion's Gate - This cat is a hoot because he's so unpredictable. Nobody knows anything about him for sure; it's all subject to change. But while everybody gets mad at the cat, it's kinda entertaining trying to keep up with him.

Billy Gunz and Pun - Ohhhhh man. These two MCs have had the longest beef in history, lol. It just became a part of the site after while. Not really animosity, but just a law of Stanktown. Their competing has led to some fine works of battle rap lore. I'll come back to them later.

Cause of DEF - Aw man... the cat that most influenced my rhyming. I'm gonna come back to this genius later on, so I'm not gonna go too much into detail. But I do remember outside of the battle area, this was the cat known for "settling it". I think COD pretty much won any argument he was in, lol. But this cat is a great writer too. I remember him telling me he received a reward for being the most humorous columnist in his area. So in writing we had a huge interest in common, and the rest is history. I'm gonna come back to this cat in the future, so be on the lookout...

Hustleman Clone - Hands down the funniest cat on the site. I haven't talked much to him directly, but the brotha is darn funny. That freaky blue jay post... it's just so wrong...


I'm gonna add to this list as it comes to me, but these are a few to start cha off. Scared yet?

Anyway, what the Stanks have done for me is give me an outlet to find out who I really am; in reality, people usually have expectations of me that keep me contained. But I escaped first on Stankonia, then to the world. It's been like a second high school, one where I was much more social. It's been a very healthy experience, very educational and very enriching. I now know how to express myself effectively, take constructive criticism, be supportive, avoid some people, and end big arguments by writing loooooooong informative responses, lol

2 things I wish for every Stank. 1) Find Jesus, cuz BOY-O-BOYARDEE do some of ya'll need Jesus!!! lol 2) Get some of this DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer; ya'll don't know whatcha'll MISSING!

A ginger beer toast to the Stanks. All Love from ya boy Jig... after all, yah were there when Jig was bornB-)

Weblife Reality

Before I go any further with "The Team", I gotta make an argument first. Ya see, the first group of people are cats that I know in realtime; I've seen and walked with them physically at some point in my life. But the next group of people I'm gonna thumb thru... they're digital. As digital as I am right now.

Now, many cats would say you can't really have friends that you only talk to online. WEll... in a sense that's true. You can't share life experiences with digital friends. You never know if they really care for you because the friendship is never tested by any of the threats that life presents. Matter of fact, if the person lies about his or her persona, you never really know anything about the person in the first place.

Good arguments. But I don't think they're good enough to downplay web communities to mere fictions. My stance is this:

1) While there won't be any going to movies and football games and the park and such, simply being on the Net together can be an experience. Sharing musical tastes, having long chat sessions, congregating in chatrooms by the dozens, playing games, sharing poems/raps/etc... those are activities too. Personally, I can say that I am the writer that I am today, especially when it comes to poetry and raps, because of my having a community of people with which to share material and get critiques and tips. Aside from all that, I'm a Christian, and as a Christian one way I know to interact with people no matter where they are is thru prayer. I've prayed with people I've met online, and I've prayed for people I've met online. And that's a very real experience.

2) In real life, friends are obligated to be there for you when they can be. But even in reality friends can't always be there for you, such as in the event that they move away. Does that mean that they're not your friends? Nah. And I say it's the same on the Net. You meet people with the obvious understanding that, "No, I can't be there for you physically when you need me". However, as it is in reality, you don't have to physically "be there" with somebody to "be there" for them. Words are so powerful that a telephone call can allow you to be in the trenches with a friend. And, if people choose to, they can be there for you via chatroom as well. The thoughts and the words used in both situations are all the same; one is spoken, the other usually typed. And let me reiterate, there's always prayer. Prayer is so versatile that it can't be limited by our primitive technology, lol.

3) Sure, it's a cinch to pretend to be someone else and fool everybody you meet on the Net if you want; same as in reality. I meet fake people all the time: fake handshakes, fake smiles, fake physical features... It's the same thing. So it's pretty weak to say you can't trust Net surfers, because you're actually pretty dumb if you trust ANYBODY nowadays, tangible or digital. Ironically, while it's easy to mislead people on the Net, the Net also makes it easier to be truthful with people. Picture this: a world with no races, no prejudices, no obligations, no associations. That's web community. In web communities, people only know what other people want them to know, so you're never judged based on what you are; only by what you choose to post up. And, since many people you talk to are nowhere near your situation or location, they can give you honest and objective feedback. You can tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth to whoever wants to listen and just be satisfied that somebody out there knows how you really feel.

Now I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm in favor of Net-dating and Net-romance and stuff like that; any romantic knows that some things can't be communicated in word alone. So I say in that case don't start what you can't finish. Plus, that's where misleading surfers can really do some damage. But anything short of the love scene, web community is great for.

So there you have it; I have justified the digital branch of "The Team" by asserting the validity of Weblife Reality(<-------"oh he's so eloquent!" lol). Be on the lookout for "The Stanks", "The Horsemen and Co.", and "The Students". But before I leave, I'd like to bring up a conversation that me and an MC, Cause of DEF, had over the Net one night. Interacting with people via Internet really brings up an important question: What are we? Many would say that we are just flesh and bone, and yet when you communicate with people via web community flesh and bone is nowhere present. But traces of your essence still appear on the screen as you type; I bet somebody out there right now recognizes you simply by the way you word things and the things you tend to talk about, for instance. Isn't that you? Your very soul, you might say?

lol... Just tryna get your mind going. It's gon be alright. All Love and Jesus PeaceB-)

The Team: For The Good Doctor

Doc is prolly one of my newest friends, though we've known each other for years now. We met thru our church, and the church has pretty much been our common ground ever since. Maybe that's why our relationship is different than my other relationships with my other friends.

(I'm about to geek again, so brace yourself...) Street Fighter fans: if me and Swim are like Guile and Nash, then me and Doc are like Ryu and Ken. We each derive our views from the same source but we go about things differently, just like Ryu and Ken practice the same art but represent two different manifestations of it. Need more geekage? Okay... For you X-Men fans: let's say one of us is Professor Xavier and the other Magneto; we see the same problems and come up with two different solutions that, unfortunately, seem to short circuit each other, lol.

But just like Xavier and Magneto have respect for each other, Doc and I share the same sentiments. Doc is a great writer and is a boundless source of creativity. He's a leader who likes to assume the leadership position from the onset; a go-getter if you will. He's very direct and very progressive minded.

Doc has a love for his people that radiates in his written expressions. There's no question of his focus on Christian ideals, and he is diligent in his dedication to the students we mutually teach at our church. It's these core values that I think are the most important when it comes to us relating to each other. There aren't many other cats in my near vicinity that hold to these values, so 9 times out of 10 when it's go time, Doc is gonna be my first pick.

So you might say in the face of Apocalypse, unlikely allies unite, lol... (ya'll don't get it do you... go get X-Men Legends 2).

Now a little about the real Doc. I was watching ESPN one day about a year ago. Stuart Scott came on and said something. And I said to myself, "That sounds a lot like Doc... Matter of fact, that's Doc's style almost to a T..." It was later that I put two and two together and figured out that Doc was aspiring to be a sports journalist. I had heard him say it before, but I always thought about it from the writing angle, not from the actual sportscasting. But it shows in his personality; Doc likes to use those "sportscaster phrases", the catchy quips that keep crowds' attentions. He often does it when we chat. Stuart better step up his game or he might be out of a job, lol.

We got a long way to go to get to our mutual destinations and accomplish our respective goals. We'll prolly clash on various occasions on our way there, but I'm certain that if our cores remain the same, we at least won't destroy each other, lol. And who knows... maybe we'll find more common ground as we go. Time will tell.

In the meantime, we'll enjoy the moment.. a ginger beer toast. All Love to the homie the Good DoctorB-)

(I need to put you up on this DGGJGB too, lol)

P.S. - Peep The Good Doctor's Blog, www.blackloveonegrowth.blogspot.com

The Team: For Donquel

lolol... That's what Grandma always called him. But I call him Donn, sort for Donnie. And that's not his real name either, lol.

If I'm gonna talk about me and Tariq, then I GOTTA talk about me and Donn; the relationship is much the same. When I was Tariq's age, he was my "big brother" and mentor; but technically Donn is my older cousin. He's been there for me since I was pint-sized, and to this day he's still with me.

Donn set several things in motion in my life. But the first thing he did was get on my friggin nerves, lol. I was kinda timid when I was little, and Donnie used to make sport of ruffin me up. Bad thing was, I couldn't even fight back; Donnie was like in high school playing football when I was still in elementary school wit some thick glasses. He used to pick on me, call me "nub" and "scrub", put me in tailspins and watch me stumble around the backyard... stuff big brothers are supposed to do, lol. Thru it all, I did become tougher. And it wasn't always all bad; sometimes I remember Donn teaching me stuff like how to catch a football, how to square out and run patterns and stuff. Speaking of football...

Donn was the one who first introduced me to video games, lol. I think the first whipping I got was in this old game for the NES, Tecmo Bowl. I didn't think it was possible to win that game. And I KNEW it was impossible to win against HIM, lol. But I kept trying and trying.

Then came the upgrade... Donn had a Nintendo, but then he got a Super Nintendo. And, though I was too young at the time, he reluctantly introduced me to my very first fighting game: Street Fighter II. That was the game that changed my life. I think I fought Donn for 3 years+, and I never remember beating him, lol. But I never gave up. And it's the same thing that's happening with Tariq and me right now; one day he'll think back too all these whippings and appreciate them, lol.

As I continued to grow in combat stature, as I was now addicted to fighting, I got my first taste of the real fights of life. I think it started around 1995, the golden year of my life, and the peak of the 90's in my opinion. I was in the 5th grade I think, and my cousin just got his first SUV, which he still drives today. It's a white Nissan Pathfinder. Of course, now that he had a new ride, I had to ride along right?

I remember one time my cousin put a CD in his car's player. It was the Soul Food Album from the Goodie Mob; not really meant for kids. But, like Tariq, my mind was able to process the messages I heard on the album, thru the profanity and all that. And whereas the world seemed so friendly before, I now realized that life would be a great challenge to meet. Especially for me, as the CD really brought the things I learned in my class to life; that racism was still alive and that young Black males should be alert to it.

From there, I got sensitive to music with messages. I would listen to my cousin's music and find all the "deep stuff" (deep was the best word I could use to describe it back then, lol). One day I told my cousin, "This OutKast album and this Goodie Mob album sound kinda alike." And my cousin told me about the Southern music conglomerate that I still subscribe to to this day: The Dungeon Family. It was like God used my cousin to take my mind out of the mainstream before I got sucked in and caught up, like the rest of these people I see. So I thank God for my cousin.

Through it all, I now see that my cousin's real strength is his love. He embodied for me the values that my family upheld. He was patient with me, made time for me, respected his elders in front of me... I can't remember Donn doing anything wrong in front of mesince I've known him. Not counting beating up little sisters, cuz that's what we big brothers do, lol.

So you see, over time the animosity I had toward my cousin as a kid... it faded. And now, he's one of my best friends. He's a source of a lot of my confidence. He calls me Vincenzo (a play off of my middle name) whenever he sees me. I don't see him all the time, cuz he's got a family to care for now. But nothing's changed: a heartbeat ago, my whole family went up to Tennessee for a funeral. I got to ride in an Expedition, sittin up front with my cousin while he was behind the wheel. As I sat in the passenger seat, Donn said, "I'm gonna need you to peep that rearview for me to help me switch lanes, aight Goose..." I asked, "Goose? Where did that come from?" And my cousin answered, "What, you never seen Top Gun? Goose was Mavericks' navigator..." I think I'll always remember that.

I still get overjoyed when I see that Pathfinder pull up in the yard. Thanx for everything Donn.

A ginger beer toast... All Love to the homie DonquelB-)

(Yeah, I need to hip you to this DGGJGB too, Mav, lol...)

The Team: For Tariq

Yeah, lol. Rico, that's my unofficial lil brother; my gaming buddy. I think he's 10 now, but ever since he was maybe 7 or 8 he and I would have some of the most intelligent conversations! I mean, I guess it's the world we live in, but he's been exposed to so much, good and bad... But on some intelligence level he took, they found that my homie was already reading on a collegiate level! So mentally, there's no real age barrier between us.

I used to worry about Tariq, because he's a thinker. Being a thinker makes life difficult sometimes, especially for a young cat like him. I remember one day he went up to join our church; he was one of the few kids who admitted he wasn't ready to accept Jesus Christ because he didn't have a firm understanding, lol. Of course people get unnerved by that, but critical thinking isn't a bad thing. Eventually, that critical thinking will probably lead him to have a greater spirituality; I was the same way at my first church, so I know (and yes, he did eventually accept Jesus Christ, lol).

Rico, as his mom calls him, is a solemn cat for his age; more mature than most cats his own age, and also more mature than many cats older than him. He has some clown in him, but you rarely see it; he's good about picking the right time and place to goof off. As he grows older, he's coming more and more out of his shell, and it's cool to see. I think he's prolly my favorite visitor, so every time his mom comes over I'm looking for him so we can fire up the PS2 or Dreamcast and get our fight on, lol.

I worry about Tariq sometmes because with his vast knowledge has come a little over-exposure. I try to stick close to him to offer what guidance I can, because too much knowledge too soon can really mess with a cat's mind. Again, I've been there, so I know. Maybe that's why we met; who knows...

Now... Rico the gamer, lol. Again, that's me all over again. I was a gamer since I was his age, and it made my mind lightning quick. I'm seeing it even moreso with him. He's a fast learner, so I gotta stay sharp to keep a foot up on him, lol. One day I think he's gonna gain a true "understanding" of the games he plays, where he'll be in full control of everything he does. He's developing his own techniques already which I didn't do 'til I was much older. I can't wait til he perfects 'em.

Til then, I'm doing him like my older cuzzin did me... SHOW NO MERCY! It makes a better gamer outta ya, lol.

A ginger beer toast. All Love to the homie TariqB-)

(And a special toast to his mom, cuz she introduced me to ginger beer, PLUS she's got a recipe for homemade ginger beer!!!!)

The Team: For Miss Melissa

Dag... Years blow by me. I get years confused oftentimes. But I can easily say that the most significant year of my recent life was 2001-2002. I graduated high school in 2001, met Melissa that Fall, and parted ways with her by the Summer of 2002. So much transpired in that time frame, I hope I can do it justice...

Melissa and I had a class together that first semester in college. I was in this isolationist phase of my life, so I kinda sat away from the rest of the class. But Melissa came right over and introduced herself to me! She penetrated my friggin force-field, lol. I came to learn that Melissa was Dynamite in a small package... Well... Small meaning shorter than me, that is. But understand, Melissa was a self-proclaimed Fatty Girl, lol.

Melissa quickly became like my little sister away from home. I remember I had some problems coming out of my shell, and she was a little hostile toward dudes because of how they had treated her at various times. But when we started kicking it, it worked out that we were helping each other to solve these problems. One time, Melissa told me she'd never get married or have kids. lol...I remember I told her right then that she would, and it probably wouldn't be too long from now.

We used to be out and about late at night, sometimes as late as 2:00 or 3:00am. And I knew I had class the next day, but somehow kickin it with her felt like the right place for me to be. If we weren't out walking around, or at her dorm or my dorm, we were on the phone; my roomate was a nite owl too and didn't mind the noise, and Melissa didn't have a roomate so it was all good. Melissa is the first person I remember being open enough to tell jokes with. I think it was because she was so supportive of everything I did; I wasn't afraid of embarrassing myself with her, ya know? She was a mover, and she encouraged me to go for the things that I wanted.

How much of a mover was she? Well, I remember one time we started talking about our high school experiences. I told her how I got burned out in my senior year. She told me how she... didn't, lol. Melissa was in pretty much anything u could think of. She had all these banners and pictures and trophies and would get so many things in the mail from these various organizations... It was mindblowing. I was thinking to myself what I could've done if I just hadn't given up. And even further, her active nature reminded me of my little sister. I told Melissa about the things my sister did, and she seemed like she was really intrigued by her. I was dying for them to meet each other one day, lol.

It was a strange year that got downright crazy pretty soon. Melissa was diagnosed with MS, and began having advanced attacks. Her walking was immediately affected, and all of a sudden she wasn't able to get about like she normally would to go to class, etc. When it went down, she really brought something out of me. It was the first time in my life that I willingly put somebody else's interest ahead of my own. Melissa had been so much to me: helping me with my emotional problems, being concerned about me, encouraging me in my musical pursuits... I couldn't rest until I knew Melissa had everything she needed. I was scampering all the time, and I didn't mind doing it at all. We were already spending a heck of a lot of time together before, but now it was just insane amounts of time. And you know what? I miss it.

Thru it all, Melissa did something to my spirit too. God used her in her distress to teach me what prayer was all about. That year was the first time that I seriously prayed on someone else's behalf. The only thing at the time that I wanted was for Melissa to be healthy again, but the strange thing was it felt like I was praying for myself. I also solidified my own beliefs and what I had been taught back home by teaching them to Melissa. I remember her listening so intently to me, and me thinking to myself "I'm really saying this? Or maybe it's God saying it... Just keep talking..." lol. The day she called me and told me she finally got saved... man... I can't even describe it.

The craziness pretty much carried on til the very end of the semester, but we kept it tight nonetheless. I watched her have crushes on a cat or two and get over em; she watched me have crushes on a couple of young ladies and get my mind blown every time, lol. I came down and walked her home from the computer labs at night on several occasions to make sure she got in safe. We even had one incident that made the paper and stuff, but that's what college is for, right? Anywasy, we made it. It was all a blessing to me and I'd do it all again if I could.

So where is she now? lol... Let's just say I'm psychic. Melissa's married(B-P I told u so!). I also remember her telling me at one point the MS may have been a misdiagnosis, so I'm hoping every day that these prayers have paid off. I wanna say she also told me she was expecting, but I can't remember; it's been a long time and we've been out of touch. But if you ever come across this, I just want you to know that I haven't forgotten you, and I wish the best for your marriage. Stay strong, keep the faith, concern yourself with pleasing God, and He'll see that you're taken care of (read Mark 14). And get up on this DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer cuz it's da bombest, lol.

So, allow me to make this ginger beer toast... All Love to Miss MelissaB-)

The Team: For LJ

Earlier I said that Swim wasn't my oldest friend cuz I met him in the 4th grade. THIS is my oldest friend. LJ and I started off in kindergarten together in the same classroom. We stayed in the same classroom until we graduated elementary school. Then we went to the same middle school. After that, we went to the same high school until 10th grade, when we finally got separated for the first time. Not that we really got separated at first, cuz she stayed right around the corner from my grandma and grandpa, lol.

Speaking of grandma and grandpa, I think my whole family has met LJ at some point. To this day they still ask about her all the time. They talk about how beautiful she is. And yeah, LJ is bad, and very classy. LJ was the girl who, when we were playing kickball, would foot it clear out of the backyard no prollem. At the same time, LJ was never the girl who carried herself like a floosie. You had to respect LJ no matter what. Out of all the girls I've known in my life, she was definitely the realest; LJ is the survivor. From her earliest days, she'd put you in mind of the Maya Angelou's and Sista Souljas; nowadays some cats even call her Jill (Scott), for resemblence, but I'd say for the way she carries herself too.

While we're in the neighborhood, LJ was also the one who introduced me to rap. Matter of fact, my cousin Gator asked me about her the other day, because he was there the first time LJ and I got into a studio (it was his studio) and he was so impressed with her. Before LJ, I never imagined I'd be spitting, but she got into it and brought me along. Now it's a huge part of me. She's always been the most expressive of my friends; the poet of the crew if you will. And she's so pure wit it, which is kinda the only discrepancy she and I have ever had... kinda. S'not really that big a deal: I'm expressive too, but I work within a more "confined" space; she likes to burn her innermost thoughts and feelings BRIGHTLY, for better or worst. The differences in writing styles reflect the differences in personality. But the cool thing is, in being so free she never puts limits on me; I've prolly tried to limit her more often than the opposite, and for that I'm sorry.

lol... I just realized why so many cats disappoint me. I've been around LJ so long that I'm dying for cats to express themselves the way she does. I think she's the first person I met in my city... okay, PERIOD, who had true passion. And now that I'm older and I'm seeing how devoid of passion the world is, I miss kicking it on the porch with a pen, a pad, and my homie LJ.

A while ago, LJ had her first kid, so I kinda backed down a bit so she could focus on raising her. But after a while, I got so bogged down with school and music that things kinda went stale. Not to mention my musical interests have moved to a totally different place; I don't love hip-hop like I used to, I embrace a wide range of music, and if I ever was "confined" musically before... WHEW, lol. I mean, I personally don't feel confined because I have a whole different perspective and different priorities; my spirituality is a huge part of that. But whereas I'm pretty much against profanity except in specially-calculated-appropriate-no-other-way-and-for-the-express-purpose-of situations, she's more liberal and puts more value on capturing her emotions in the most honest way possible.

Still, I wanna get back tight like we used to be. I read the uninspired writings of others and think about the heat she used to apply to paper. She was like a female Tupac, lol. And I'd be bogus if I didn't admit that she was the one who got me my start. Her fire sparked me, even if I went in a slightly different direction; and I say slightly because I don't believe we would've been so close so long if we were truly so different.

So... a ginger beer toast. All Love to the homie LJB-)

(remind me to hip you to this ginger beer thang cuzzo)

The Team: For Rooster

Ha HA!!! You didn't think I was gonna hitchu with that huh, Sis...

Yeah, as early as I can remember, my pops called my baby sister Rooster. I never thought about it until now... well, I called her Rooster once because she was addicted to wearing her hair in a clip, so that it stuck out like a roostertail, lol.

Well, I was born in 83, she was born in 86. So for three years there was peace. And then... BOOM!!! It was WAR, lol. I do remember one time where me and Rooster got along fine all the time; after all, she wasn't walking yet. Even a little while after she started walking, there was peace in the land. The world catastrophe happened when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came out and we each got our first taste of violence. Violence tasted GOOD, lol.

From that time on, we fought every day. It wasn't malicious at all... I felt like fighting, she felt like fighting, so we fought! I made a thug outta my lil sis, lol. The only rule: I'm the only one who could fight her. ONe other cat tried it one time at the bus stop. Baaaaaad decision.

Yeah, we fought for years and years and years. The day I stopped fighting her was the day, while we were wrestling, I accidently fell on her and crushed her lungs. She couldn't breathe at first and I was going CRAZY!!! I still don't like thinking about that moment. I remember the look on her face and how I couldn't do anything about it. Once Mom came in and helped her walk it off, I was like "I can't do this anymore". And that was it.

But that didn't mean sibling rivalry would cease, lol. We still talked much trash. But the relationship we had was strange. We weren't competing really; it's just she was so much like me that she was just doing what I would do. So if I posed a threat, she always challenged me; because if she ever put up a threat, I, as Big Brother, would be obligated to do the same, lol. So thru it all, I was actually proud of her.

I was very protective of my Sis (except for that one time I caught the bus and you missed it when we were reeeeeal little...lol, I'm laughing, but I really do feel bad about it... REALLY). And I think me being protective caused her to be a little different than me eventually; like, she's more adventurous, maybe used to having me to back her up. See, I have my ways, but I try to stay within certain boundaries: I'm always courteous, I'm usually the first to back down, I respect all authority, etc. Rooster?... DON'T get on Rooster's bad side. Rooster doesn't hold her tongue as well as I do, lol. On one hand, I'm glad, cuz I know she can take care of herself. On the other hand... eh... there's a time, a place, and a way of doing things ya know? It keeps down on conflicts Sis, lol.

So who is Rooster? Well, I'm seeing the real Rooster more now than ever. She's always been in my shadow, excelling at academics and such. But now she's in college at UNC, and she's different. She's getting out and meeting people. She's perfecting herself at what she's really good at; she plays clarinet and trombone by the way... And very well... Like first chair well... in both, lol.

She's gotten to a point now where she's more introspective, which I'm very glad to see. If she has a shortcoming, she's no longer afraid to admit it and she takes advice better now. It's the craziest phenomenon tho... Everytime she goes off I start to miss her, but everytime she comes home for the summer I'm ready to drop her the heck off on campus, lol. We'll get it together.

Rooster in some ways is like that side of me that has yet to come out, so I kinda admire her. I'll tell you what side of her got nothing to do with me tho... YOUR CD COLLECTION WREAKS VEHEMENTLY! And you call yourself a music major...

lol...So, a ginger beer toast for the little sis. All Love to the homie RoosterB-)

(who also likes DGGJGB... kinda...)

The Team: For Swim

This is something I'm doing over a period of... who knows, lol. Just paying homage to the cats that really make me tick. These are the cats that have had a hand in molding me, whether they realize it or not. I think I'll do a couple now and a couple down the road and make additions as the crew grows.

I had to add this cat first cuz he's still the closest thing I have to a blood brother. I've known Swim since the 4th grade so he's not quite my oldest friend, but after a decade years lose significance. If we were to fall out right now and I found out that he needed me for anything, I'd put that beef aside without a second thought.

I love this cat because he's one friend who I know truly appreciates who I am. How do I know this? Because since we met in '92 this cat has NEVER tried to change me. Those are the friendships I like; where I can be me and you can be you, and we sync-up based on that. See, you got some cats who, if you don't say anything to em, they assume something's wrong. Wit Swim, if I dont' say anything, that simply means there's nothing to be said. And there's no awkwardness about it. We just jump on guitars or something and freestyle...

Let's see... I've always admired Swim because I always got the impression that Swim was one step ahead of me, even if I couldn't see it. Like when we were in grade school, I would shoot for A+'s on everything; he would crank out the A+'s at will, but usually he was happy with A's. Did I think I was smarter than him? HEGGGG NO! Cuz what I didnt' realize was that maintaining that A+ stuff would tax me before I graduated. Meanwhile, Swim knew how to balance, and because of that, when I burned out, he was still going strong. Kinda like how it used to be when we would race each other: I'd come out strong, take the lead, then burn out while he'd just maintain a steady stride, catch up, then pass me. Then I'd get a second wind and do the same thing, and he'd keep his stride and pass me again. And it seemed like he would always beat me; I just couldn't figure out how, lol.

Back in our X-Men days, I was the Colossus of the crew; Swim was the Nightcrawler. It fits, lol. Lemme tell yah something... me and Swim are tight, but Swim knows how to dip on a playa too, lol. Like the time me, Swim, and my lil sis were in the store. And this over-talkative girl Swim and I grew up with showed up on our aisle. I was playing a game, so I didn't see her. But Swim saw her. My sister's report goes as follows:
"He just got this weird look on his face... kinda with a half smile. I didn't know what was up, so I looked around. When I looked back, he was GONE..."
LOLOLOL... I've seen that face too many times. Anywasy, yeah, Swim dipped, and since I didn't get any kinda warning (as Sis didn't know), I was privileged to get stalled for eternity. Lost the fight (on the game) and everything... When I caught up to Swim--- it actually took us a long time to catch up to Swim, lol---he was laughing hysterically, but it was cool...(rofl)

Arright arright... But what I particularly like about this cat is that he's a good listener. He knows me fairly well after a decade, so he knows the kinda things that get to me. And it's the same here. So when I start gripin' and talking crazy, I don't get a "you shouldn't..." and "oooohh, shame on you...", cuz he knows good and well Im not serious; I'm just venting. What's more, as a good listener he respects my visions; it's kinda like Nash says to Guile on the Streetfighter V anime, "I've learned to trust your instincts". (Yeah, I'm a geek like dat. It's my blog, git ur own...)

And I make every effort to give the same respect. Don't get it twisted; just because we're close doesn't mean me and Swim are of the same mind (though people have thought we were brothers forever). Swim is more of an artist, I'm more of an activist. Swim likes to take chances, but I only risk when I have to. I'm a bit more extroverted, he's more introverted. But I think the friendship has been beneficial: if it wasn't for Swim, I wouldn't have taken the risks to go further than my usual spheres; if it wasn't for me, maybe Swim would have taken TOO MANY chances, lol.

So now Swims up at Morehouse, I'm down at Augusta State. We collab on musical projects and get to mix our differences into a tangible form. And I must say, cats are appreciating it. The chemistry is incredible. I can't wait til we get this out for the world to hear. Now if we can just agree on the intricacies of mixing and mastering, lol.

So, this entry is for u. A ginger beer toast... All Love to the homie SwimB-)

P.S. - Oh yeah, did I tell u he's a DGGJGB Fan too? Yah need to catch up on this thang, hear me!

Make Mine a DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer!!!

Disclaimer: No, I'm not an alcoholic; ginger beer, at least the kind I drink, is nonalcoholic...

...and as I sipped the last drop of my third bottle today, I thought to myself, "I gotta do something to rep for this underappreciated, understocked beverage." So ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the bombest drink on earth. Introducing DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer!!

How bomb is this drink? Lemme tell u. See, on one hand it's sweeter than most sodas out there... On the other hand it's got FIYAH! It sits in the back of your throat and just BURNS! But don't panic! See, DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer is an astringent: it PURGES YOU!

How bomb is this drink? Check it: my mom's been under the weather recooperating from medical complications, right?. As a side-effect, she can't taste most things, and her taste buds are taking their sweet time coming back to her. But I kept telling her, "Ma, u should hit some of this DGGJGB; I got a good feeling about it..." So she finally gave in today. Do you know she could actually taste it?! Praise the Lord for DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer!

I was watching Bonanza one time (which I never watch). Do you know these cowboys in the Old West were sippin' on ginger beer? And anybody that knows me knows I'm a Cowboys fan anyway... it just fits! Ginger Beer is the drink of choice for this cat. Specifically, DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer; no offense, but other ones I've tried weren't strong or sweet enough, lol.

So where do I get my DGGJGB? Well, they don't stock em in the major stores in my area, only the Goya brand as far as I've seen. I get 'em at this mom-and-pop shop around my way, run by this Latino couple. 'Nicest people you ever wanna meet; the wife always has a smile on her face, and the husband pats me on the shoulder like he knows me. Real cool people, lol. Not to mention I think I saw my wife in the parking lot the other day as I was leaving; a beautiful latina in a black car with Chinese Calligraphy on it (go figure! it was a good day huh!). So what did I do? I jumped in my ride, popped the bottletop, and said "I'll drink to that," lol.


Tangent Time! ...Yo, the other day I tossed some Muscadine Grape seeds randomly in my backyard to see if they'll grow... Come to think of it, I should be growing some ginger... muwahahahaha...

Anywasy, if you're reading this, why don't you take a little quality time and plant some seeds... IN THE GROUND if you're wondering, lol. And no illegal substances please. Why grow and sell weed to get money to eat when you can just grow the food instead? All LoveB-)

Late Night Reflection: True Love Mythology

Arright. I'm cool, calm, and collected now. It's time to write the post I intended to write in the first place. Pull up a seat...

I was struck by a beautiful and profound anecdote today. Whether or not it holds true is open for debate, but I wanna say that is has merit. Lemme read it to you:

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

Whoooooaa, right? I mean, I can't argue with it; it seems right. And I gotta admit... I'm wounded by this statement. See--- supposing that that's the standard--- I'm not quite on that level yet.

Don't get me wrong, I don't expect to find a perfect person; I'm not perfect myself after all, right? But I was hoping there would at least be the perfect person. I was hoping true love would be sweet, not an acquired taste... I know, that sounds a little hard. Lemme put it like this: I never wanted to have to force myself to love somebody, ya dig? I had my heart set on loving someone that truly grabs my attention; it sounds like lust, I know. But she doesn't have to look perfect or anything; I just want her to grab me, ya know? After all, if we're talking marriage, we're talking the rest of our lives; might as well be with somebody that moves you right? Right?

Well, I hope so. I'm not the type of cat to cheat, but I don't wanna be with somebody that leaves me wanting to, ya know? I mean, I really wanna be a faithful, dedicated boyfriend/husband. And I know, whoever I'm with, I'm gonna make that happen. But I'd like it to be more than just obligation; I want to actually WANT to be that for her.

I thought I found the one for me one time. Things went sour, but when I was with her, she had my full cooperation an total attention, ya dig? And she wasn't Miss Universe; she was just Miss Right. 'Least, I thought she was. I used to think about everything I would do for her if she was mine. I couldn't see anybody but her. I'm still hoping that it'll be that way when true love finally finds me out.

Superficial on my part, eh? Honestly, I can't tell. But I wonder... is it possible that the statement in itself isn't concrete? After all... who says that the perfect person can't be an imperfect person? That would cause the statement to implode on itself, right? Well... from the beginning I said it seems right, not that it is. But it's something that I'm gonna hold on to. I've never truly been in love, so I don't know what to expect. For all I know, this anecdote could come in handy someday. Then again, maybe the girl of my dreams is the girl I'm dreaming of.

(yawn) I got a paper to write peeps. Just thought I'd share the thought for you to ponder. I got dreams to catch.

All Love


P.S. - 9/28/2005 - D'OH!!!! Upon re-reading the statement, I now surmise that I TOTALLY MISSED IT, lol. What it's technically saying is so obvious that it almost doesn't need to be said: "You're not perfect, and whoever you end up with is not going to be perfect; the test of true love is the ability to maintain that relationship in spite of the imperfections."

Now THAT'S something I have no problem accepting. Hallelujah, lol... Guess I had too much on my mind to catch that at the time. And the moral of the story is: READ THE LINES BEFORE YOU READ BETWEEN THE LINES! Bah... at least the misinterpretation made for a good write-up, eh?

Love and Duty - or - Love and Racism

Aight... ENOUGH OF THIS. I was gonna write on something beautiful I came across, but ugly seems to be the flavor for the moment. Hold my mule, kid...

So I'm reading this article: Derek Jeter Receives Racist Hate Mail, or something that like that. So I'm thinking to myself, "Dag, 'some White dude call him a nigger or somethin?" Ohhh no. I wish it was that simple. Come to find out, somebody tellin the cat to stop dating White women! Uh oh...

I've been thinkin bout tackling this subject for a hot minute. I really tried to lighten the mood in this blog, but then some idiot gotta go and do this... So now I'm locked and loaded, and whoever wants it can get it free of charge.

I hate to bust ya'll in the face like this, but you know what it boils down to? I'll tell you... It boils down to the question of "what is love"? Is love is a relationship between two people, or is love a mere instrument of social change that has nothing to do with relationship. That's right; I'm asking you: Love or Duty?! Choose!

...So what these cats--- and some of you gon act like you're shocked when you figure out who I'm talking about--- are basically telling brotha Jeter is, "Love is not about you and the one dear to your heart; love is about us and unity and the struggle for equality." Does this sound good to you, brothas and sistas??? If it sounds good to you, then you don't even know what love is. Or let me put it like this... you love the cause more than you love the one you're with! Everything in your life revolves around the struggle and you've let the struggle rob you of the beauty of life!

You wanna go further? Let's go. Because of you losing sight of your own rites of life, you've already been defeated! You're just like this country; see, America has already lost the War on Terror. Why? Because we're terrified. You've already lost your battle for equality because you've been consumed in the struggle to the point that it's the only reason you live. The life you fight for has already been sacrificed. In the words of my homie COD, "HOLD THAT!"

Smh... oh, it's bout to get hella ugly now. So... who am I talking about when I say "these cats". Aight... I'ma drop this on you. Whoever wrote the letter to Jeter... called the brotha a "traitor". Guess what, Black folks... It wasn't a White man that wrote it! It was one of US; either some militant brotha, or some jealous sista. I don't know bout U, but I'm embarrassed. Keep living in fear of White people... if you call that living!

So... we get out of slavery only to be enslaved by causes now huh... There're some cats right now that're gonna die unhappy living and loving to please somebody else. I bow to no White massa, and I SHO don't bow to no Black massa (or mistress). LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE MEANT TO BE WITH. Yah cats are straight living in the past. No, racism is not dead; no, mixing love and politics is not the answer.

lol... Cats act like THEY'RE the ones gotta go home with the girl. You got something against certain people, then that's you. But my ancestors died so I could be FREE; not so I could be slave to a new, Black massa. So I'm gonna love who I wanna love, and anybody who honors their slave ancestors will do the same. THAT'S how the struggle will be won.

ALL LOVE to the homie Derek Jeter
I'ma come back to this topic in the future, kiddies. This just the tip of the iceberg, and already the Titanic is sinking...

And Now a Word from the Shortstop

lol, I gotta stop listening to all these love songs cuz I keep having epiphanies. Brovas, listen up...

I got two tips for ya. And I prolly shouldn't even be sayin this, cuz I'm not married or dating myself. But it's so obvious what the pitch is gonna be when you're the shortstop, feel me? lol... Nah, ya'll don't feel me yet... That's alright...

Tip #1: For you jealous brothas... if you love your woman COMPLETELY, you have no need to be jealous, lol. It's so obvious. Lemme hit you with this...

When I try to get at girls (and keep in mind, I'm not dating, so basically I'm just talkin' flirting) I usually get their attention by doing things the average cat wouldn't do. Like... SYKE! Sorry, can't help u there brothas. But I will say this... if you love your woman in every way possible, it leaves no room for other cats to try to move in on her. Think about it: when another cat smoovely walks up on her the same way that you always smoovely walk up on her, she'll think about you first and reject the other cat.

The prollem is brothas leave too many openings by not doing enough. You don't compliment her, so she's moved when somebody else does. You don't listen to her, so she's moved when somebody else does. (And that's all the techniques I'm lettin you in on today, lol)

You prolly wouldn't be so jealous if you were doing all you could for your girl in the first place. Instead of being jealous, show more love to your mate, and more importantly, keep it fresh; show love in all the ways you can. That way there's no approach cats can try wit' your lady that you haven't already done, and you nix all other competitors out of the picture.

Tip #2: For u brothas thinkin about cheating, here's something that might keep you outta some much undesirable trouble. I was just thinkin last night, as I was listening to some nice love joints, about a girl I had feelings for. Back when I was taken with her, I wanted to express my love for her a million ways. Nah, I'm not gonna go into detail, but by the end of it all I was exhausted just thinking about everything I wanted to do for her.

Then last night it hit me: if you love your mate completely, you won't have enough energy to love anybody else! It's love-meets-mathematics; if you have love and you give it all away to someone, that leaves no love for anybody else: Love - Love = 0 Love Left for Anyone Else.

Of course for my Christian brothas out there, we're supposed to give all our love to God, right? But then God orders those of us who are married to love their wives right? And my pastor just got thru today telling us about fulfilling God's will to the fullest, so it boils down to the same equation: Love (as ordered by God) - Love (given to your wife as ordered by God) = 0 Love Left for Anyone Else. Only trick here--- believers are ordered not to cheat in the first place, lol (and screw Trapped in the Closet. People just tack "Christian" on anything...).

So as the playa Emeril would put it, "Bam!" There u go, homies; don't say the Jig ain neva gave u nuttin. On a side note tho... supposing you totally neglect these tips. That's where the shortstop comes in. See, I know these things because I'm the shortstop that picks up when the batter strikes out. It's always a shortstop out there, but don't hate the shortstop. I'm tellin you right now what the pitch is. Remember, the ball has to go thru you before it gets to me. Play your part and the shortstop doesn't get to play. It's that simple. And once you've struck out, be a man about it, hit the duggout, and wait for your next at bat. Don't blame the shortstop. I'm just here to keep the ball in play, lol...

All LoveB-)

Quest for Fire IV: The Need to Love...

...grows strong in this one. Real strong. People of the world, at this moment I literally have my fist in the air in the name of love. Push it up with me. All Love. That's what I'm feeling right now.

People all over the world need it right now. Somebody's in a crisis, looking for the love of a hero to help lift their burden. Someone is at the mercy of life, looking for love in the dark heart of oppression for a measure of grace. Somebody's beaten, looking for the love of a comrade to become their crutch and usher them to the next plateau. It's gonna take love to make the sacrifices that need to be made.

There's a brotha out there working, giving his all to be the best man he can be, looking for the love of his family to press on. There are children out there wondering if they're worthy of love, trying to understand why their parents aren't there for them. A young girl is letting lust rap in her ear right now, wondering if this is the love she seeks to fill the void her father left; I need to tell her, "there's more love in the passing kind words of a stranger than in a night of cheap pleasure! And yes, you are beautiful..." ...Maybe in the house down the street, a young boy doesn't believe in love after seeing his father abuse his mother, then watching his mother cry alone for so many nights. His heart is as cold as the heat in his pants. On the corner across from his post, an elderly woman attempts to cross a New York City street with her walker... The opportunities we miss when we let go of love!

An old lovebird is fading away from missing his other half, but she's passed on. What a slow and painful death! Meanwhile, hearts in Hollywood get broken every week... but the show must go on, and love becomes an act to keep up with popular opinion and press. Why not degrade yourself on the silver screen when everybody thinks love is a joke! Marriage is a mere game--- an engagement meant to be broken! Tinseltown must be a lonely place...


I don't know if everybody out there feels me yet or not. Something inside me makes it so that I need to love! I think I'll die if I don't love. Heh... as I go about my daily, I tell one girl how beautiful she is to me. I tell another one how I love her voice. I tell another one how she makes that dress look so nice. But don't think ill of me when I approach women and seem a little amorous. See, when I was a teenager, there was a lot of lust inside me. But you know what? I think it was bigger than that. Cuz when the smoke finally cleared and the hormones finally came down, I still felt the need to show love. Sex is so small in the face of love. You don't know the satisfaction I get from simply giving a compliment and bringing a smile to someone's face; you don't know how painful it is for me to withhold loving words when they come to me. Any love I can show, I wanna do it. I hafta do it.

Brotherly love is just as important. And when I say "brothers" I mean all men, no matter the race, creed, custom... because we all live here, we all affect each other. Love is bigger than all that. When I come across the brothas, I throw my head up to acknowledge em, even the ones I don't know. I put up two fingers in the spirit of brotherhood. I dap cats down, pound fists, shake hands and one-arm embrace cats to let em know I'm wit em. See, love is something that has to be injected into this loveless world. I show love to brothas to give them the courage to show love to others; I live love before them to show them that that hardness they exhibit is a handicap to their manhood.

Agape love, intimacy of friends, brotherly love, amorous love, and yes... even eros when the time comes. All Love. See how the world needs it! And just as much as the world needs it, that's how bad I need to show it.

And as I think on this love... when I think of it... I feel this burning in my chest...

The Big 22... Cuz I Say So

Man, I was skeptical at first, but now love this whole blog thing. Why? Cuz whatever I say GOEZ in this piece! Any discrepancies? Nope! Cuz ur just a lightbulb to me. Screw U-niversity!!!<-------lol, I dont' really mean it, but that's a gangsta-fried saying, isn't it? Remember where you saw it first...

Anywasy, let's keep this short for once... CUZ I SAY SO. This is my list of the stuff that I dig. Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhh....

1. DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer is the best drink. Deal wit it.

2. The Dallas Cowboys are the center of the football universe. Deal wit it.

3. Troy Aikman, Jon Stewart, Phil Collins and Bill Clinton are the coolest White dudes. Deal wit it.

4. Canada is what America claims to be. Deal wit it.

5. The Dungeon Family is the greatest conglomerate. Yeah, big word. In yo face. Deal wit it.

6. The French rock. Deal wit it.

7. Samurai rock. Deal wit it.

8. Piccolo is the only cat on Dragonball Z worth the respect; he's the Batman of Dragonball Z. Deal wit it.

9. Charlie Brown should be crowned. Deal wit it.

10. OutKast is the greatest... period. Deal wit it.

11. Chauncey Billups, Allen Iverson, and Tracy McGrady make my NB-A-list. Deal wit it.

12. ATLiens is my favorite OutKast album. Aquemini is the best OutKast album. Deal wit it.

13. Masters At Work are the perfect blend. Deal wit it.

14. Esthero and Hilary Clinton are two White ladies who are alright with me. Deal wit it.

15. Blazing Saddles is the only movie I'd pay to see right now. And I own it. Deal wit it.

16. Final Fantasy X is the best video game I've ever played. Deal wit it.

17. Diplomacy is the best strategy game I've ever played. Deal wit it.

18. The 2006 Lincolns are already the cleanest cars on the market... 'Not meant for the young and dumb. Deal wit it.

19. Colossus is the greatest and most underrated X-Man. Deal wit it.

20. Cowboy Bebop is THE Anime and you're just gonna hafta carry that weight. Deal wit it.

21. In Street Fighter, Guile can beat the brakes off of anybody. Deal wit it.

22. A pouty Jessica Alba holds a light to Angelina Jolie. And either one coulda swiped Brad Pitt. Deal wit it.


Coooold Blooded... That felt goodB-)

Quest for Fire III: Fertile Groundwork

Alright... so I'm not a very regimented person; I'm better at random than with preparation for some reason. I think pressure brings out the best in me. But this time I think I'm actually going to fall into a routine of sorts. Because this time it's not me trying to achieve a particular goal, but me trying to maintain a constant work.

For that, I'll need to be at my best mentally, physically, and especially spiritually. Well, here's my plan for it:

1. Study the Bible much more. I'm very familiar with biblical principles, but sometimes I neglect to "freshen up". And after all, "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." <-------Don't ask me where it is... That's probably a misquote too. But you get the PRINCIPLE, so let it go, lol... 2 . Become more obedient to the Word. I think I do fairly well in obeying God, but fairly means there's room for improvement, right? So "boom", let's make that happen... 3. Change up my diet: 1) what I'm eating 2) what I'm drinking; 3) how much I'm eating and drinking; 4) what times I'm eating and drinking . I'm going back to a diet I tried that worked well for me:

a. Eating - I've always been fairly healthy eater: I'm not into fat and grease and all that, never had a problem with veggies, LOVE fruit... The problem is, I'm scaring crows right now, lol. I'm prolly a-buck-'35 wet. I have a high metabolism (notice the hair... I got a lot of it). In other words, I'm SSSSLIM. So I'm trying to build an appetite. Along with the usual fruits and veggies, I'm tacking on bread and pasta now in large amounts. (Speaking of pasta, I'm stuck on these little Maruchan Noodle cups I found: they're like $1.50 for six of em and they're delicious! Just a little salty, but it's good stuff... So that's my economically sound pasta choice.

b. Drinking -I normally love to drink any kind of soda and especially Black Cherry Kool Aid, but the only things I allowed myself to drink were DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer (nonalcoholic), PowerAde, and water. The ginger beer is actually an astringent so, even though it's a little sweeter than the average soda, it kinda purges you of bad stuff too (and it's cheaper than soda; gotta love mom and pop shops). The PowerAde is a good substitute for sweeter Kool Aid (yeah... I'm one of those "More kool-aid with your sugar?" cats) and it has a lot of carbohydrates to keep you energized; I'll still be sippin some Black Cherry every now and again of course. Finally, water--- pure, cleansing (tasteless) water. I've done without it for too long.

c. Meal Times - I'm also switching from three large meals a day to smaller meals around the clock, 'cuz I never actually have an appetite during the day but I'm not going to force myself to have one either. For some reason I only get hungry around midnight, so maybe I'll have my biggest meal then? Yeah... feed and then sleep on it every night, and I'll prolly put on some weight and stop scaring crows, lol.

3. Master the guitar. It may not sound like much, but I got two reasons. Firstly, I produce music and mastering an instrument would greatly help me with that. Secondly, the guitar is something that me and pops share a love for--- maybe we can rebuild our relationship from it if I can master it.

4. Get physically fit again. I'm starting with static stretches to get limber again (torn muscles suck). I'm gonna incorporate traditional push-ups, sit-ups (though I never lost the big six;-P), and a little martial arts training for strength and endurance. I'm also considering some unorthodox (and possibly dangerous, lol) exercises to test some theories I have about the body; yes, I'm trying this at home.

5. Master freestyling (extemporaneous rapping, if you don't know). I have an extensive vocabulary, and for some reason I can never summon it all when I'm writing rhymes. So I'm gonna practice freestyling to help me improve my writing and rhyming and also to make me more efficient at thinking on my feet.

6. Network. I'm learning that my dreams might be too big to come true on my own strength. I'm a purist, so I'm always reluctant to incorporate outside assistance. Things always seem to go better for me when there's no conflict of opinion, but I don't know everything either. I already know better than to go recruiting whoever comes along though... Prayerfully God will send the right people to aid me in achieving my goals.

7. Learn Chinese Calligraphy. Yeah... "Why", right? Honestly, even though I'm on the Net all the time, writing all the time, rapping, making beats, playing video games... I don't have a true hobby. I mean something I don't need anybody else with me to enjoy. Something that doesn't take a heck of a lot of thought and stress. Something I can do in total silence and get immediate gratification from. That's what Chinese Calligraphy is doing for me right now. Not to mention it's helping me to remain disciplined; you can't just put lines on paper, but stroke-order and quality count. Especially when you're using a paintbrush. And there are 214 radicals to learn before you can really read Chinese, so it's a long term project... a solo journey, just the way I like em;-D.
Lastly, I've learned that there of traces of my own Christian beliefs in the constructions of ancient Chinese Characters. So there's a spiritual incentive in my learning the art as well.


No matter how trivial, each activity has meaning and reason (if you haven't gathered, practicality is one of my biggest traits). Hopefully they'll help restore some drive to my ambitions and intentions. If not... hey, they couldn't hurt, right?... I'll just be a well-rounded individual.

Quest for Fire II: Second Wind

It's amazing... Everytime I get down like this God snaps me right back out of it. I mean seriously... I literally know God snapped me out of it. I can even say it all started in church, where (once again!) just when I needed it the sermon came RIGHT DOWN MY ALLEY. ...Yep, no doubt about it.

So... last time we chatted I was searching for a spark to ignite me. Unfortunately, I haven't found that yet. I'm still fishin' for that something to get me out of the slump.

But since the last time we talked I got an important reminder. I would like to take this time to say I'm much appreciative to my younger homies, Vizualizah and his best friend. It's been a long time since I felt my words had any significance, but over the past few days you two have assured me that I'm not just spitting into the wind. So, while I'm not quite back in full stride yet, thanx for keeping me hungry. It's only a matter of time now.

Meanwhile...

Closer to home I'm finally finding something to pull from. I recently visited my cousin, Gator, and my uncle and aunt; Gator's been into music a lot longer than I have. I've known him all my life, but I had NO IDEA I had so much in common with this cat! lol

I mean, we're two different people, no doubt about that. But we both have a real love for a wide range of music, and we both don't believe in this money-motivated hot garbage on the radio. Not only that, but neither one of us is satisfied with the dry atmosphere in this city. 'Seem like people thought I was crazy for wanting something more; now I know that, if I am crazy, at least I'm not crazy by myself.

lol, And as far as crazy goes, my cousin takes it to a whole 'nother level... So everybody go out and buy a crack-load of toilet paper (inside joke, lol)

Peepin the Falcon's game, critiquing beats, rating artists, putting individual goals on the table, crackin jokes... it really did a lot for me. I feel a lot better now. So, many thanx to Gator (and my aunt and uncle as well). And when you get to the top, I'ma see you up there. There's unexplored territory to conquer homie.

This breeze is nice...

Mystery and Misery (written while watching Keyshia Cole!)

Dag...(smh)

Aight... I know brothas all over the world gon' hate me for this. Shoot, I think I hate myself for it. After all, I'm watching a Keyshia Cole video while writing this. But, it's gotta be said...

I'm a brotha, so I'ma be bluntly honest. Personally, I ainnnn NEVA complained about a girl being too explosive with her exposure. God blessed some females with beautiful features and they will never have to fight me for attention when they put it on display. That's just reality.

Now, let's get even more real. Yeah, most of us get attracted by overly-flirtatious females in short skirts, midriffs, low-cut shirts, etc. Even me--- I mean, I know what usually comes with that so I avoid it--- but any cat that knows me will tell you, I'll break my neck every time for a glimpse. But, believe it or not, I'm at an age now where it's really getting old. Scantily clad women grab my attention, but they don't hold it, ya know? I've had several Bad Ms.'s in my passenger seat, and within a week or two skin gets a little boring. Especially when that's all they got.

So now, I find I'm often attracted to older women. Why? Well, I find that older women know some things younger women don't, like how to be subtle. Not many people would believe it, but subtlety can kill a brotha. See, we're goal oriented. We conquer, we move on. So, if the goal is to see what a woman is packing and the woman puts it out for a brotha on the first date (or before they even meet), brotha can lose interest real quick. That's just reality.

A woman who knows how to be attractive in modesty is a real killer who will always keep brothas at her. It may not be in the numbers that a flashier chick will pull, but she'll keep men at her longer. Because as long as she doesn't put it out she's "unconquered", and brothas can't rest until they've "conquered" her. (I can't believe I'm saying this... I mean, I'm already losing the game, NOW I'm raising the difficultly... I am my own worst enemy, lol)

Two things before I publish this and hate myself and get shunned by brothas all across the globe for life: 1) Ladies, consider that you don't want a man that only wants to conquer you physically. That's short-lived. So don't advertise yourself to be a cheap thrill (or if you do, at least don't ask why all the brothas that approach you want the same thing); 2) Don't throw yourself at men, but don't be unreachable either, ya know? Don't settle for less, don't make it too easy for a brotha, but don't be so untouchable that you end up by yourself. Cuz it can happen.

In retrospect, keep in mind I'm watching Keyshia Cole as I'm writing this. I AM NOT HAVING FUN SAYING ALL THIS... WHILE WATCHING KEYSHIA COLE. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you, brothas. 'Matter of fact, I can't even rationalize why I'm doing this... SWEET THUNDER... (smh)

Quest for Fire

I'm burned out... I've been burned out. So this is just a smoke signal... I can't tell if I'm on my way up or if I'm falling away from my destination. I don't even know if where I want to be is the right place for me. All I wanted to do was help the world. I wanted to help before things got any worse. Everything that I saw coming back in 1995, it's here now. And it hurts that I couldn't do my part.

So many things... I've held so many answers in the palm of my hands. Things the Lord has shown me, I put them in verses to try to combat the darkness we face. Verses that never really got recorded. ...I never intended to try to "save the world"; that's something only God Himself can do. Just wanted to do my part, ya know? And I was so optimistic about it...

Now, I'm just tired. I had totally pure intentions, but found more opposition than support. And the same people who've ignored me and confined me for so long are the same people who are complaining about the status quo; maintaining respect for elders is hard sometimes. More than that, it's flat out draining.

I keep trying to pull the right people together, but the chemistry is just not there like it used to be. Old friends have changed and I've changed; new friends either have different priorities or have a hard time understanding the way me and my old friends do things. I'm just thankful that I still got that one homie with whom I have a psychic connection. (Shout out to Swim)

So where am I now? In a psychological wasteland:

1) Cornered. I'll never give cats the satisfaction of me admitting defeat; plus, every time I've given up on something in my life I've lived to regret it. Not this time... Not to mention if I ever did give up, I'd probably become something awful. I'd probably laugh if I heard one of these elders whine about the status quo; as if whining is some noble substitute for action so they can feel good about themselves. Yeah, definitely not good for social interactions...

2) Lonely... by choice? Yeah. But I'm alone by choice because I refuse to compromise my original intentions, regardless of who doesn't understand it; I'm constantly being tried with that. The 4th part of my credo is "Let the Fruit be the Proof". It's too draining constantly explaining my reasoning to people (WHERE'S THE CHEMISTRY?!) so I'm just gonna let them see the final result for themselves...

3) Dying for motivation. The sad thing is, I actually HAVE a lot of what I need to do what I wanted to do a long time ago. Now, if only I can get that feeling back that I had in high school. Maybe it was having my friends around me, maybe it was the music I would listen to, but I was so gung-ho for the cause and I felt invincible. I know when I "arrive" it'll come back to me, but I need a little of that fire to get me there in the first place. And it's hard because I feel...obsolete? I feel like I could've had more of an impact back then. Now, I think the power is greatly reduced. But who knows, right? It's just, thoughts like that usually turn out to be true for me. Maybe for once I'll be wrong.

So this is my Quest for Fire stage. I'm running on empty, and I'm constantly a heartbeat away from quitting. But being at the bottom has it's advantages: I have no reason to fear anything. So, ironically, quitting is the only thing I won't be doing.

In the meantime, anybody got a light?

We're Almost There, Charlie Brown

Not too long ago, I watched my favorite group of all time walk across the stage at the Grammys...several times actually. The infamous duo OutKast, straight outta Atlanta, GA. I've never met either one of em before even though I've wished to since I was a teen. But somehow I feel connected to these cats; so connected that when they came from opposite sides of the stage to embrace behind the microphone, I almost cried. And something inside me said, "We finally did it" as if I had been a part of the process, lol...

So why was OutKast winning (I think it was six) Grammys so important to me? It was because of what OutKast represents to me. See, I'm an outcast too. These are two cats who took up the flag of outcasts everywhere, started as underrated unknowns, and earned the respect of everyone, lovers and haters alike, without compromising their outcastic(<-------new word) uniqueness. So for me, seeing them take the hearts of the people and dominate at the highest level of musical critique... It proves that even now there's STILL hope for underdogs everywhere.

If it be nerds: Don't worry about cats that pick on you. Just maintain your stride, and you'll find that it's true what they say... they will call you boss one day.

If it be gentlemen: Hold the door open for that young lady even if she doesn't appreciate it. There is somebody badder than her who admires that you hold the door for women at all. And her father will see the man in you.

If it be underprivileged: Money never made the man. You've got a jump on the neanderthals who think otherwise. They appear up to par on the outside; you've evolved far past them on the inside.

If it be oppressed: Be proud that somebody fears you enough to feel they need to keep their foot on you. And don't worry, because they'll find that they can't move forward themselves without removing that foot.

...So I called up my homie Charlie Brown (yeah... ya'll prolly know him as Blockhead). "Chuck, you watchin' the Grammys? Ya boys are OWNIN' it! ...It was only a matter of time, man; when you hold your ground, something's always gotta give, homie. ...What more proof do you need? We're almost there, Charlie Brown..."

Eastern Character

Hey... got a little bit too heavy in here recently, huh? Well, let's say we take a trip to the Orient. You know... the Far East. And let's make it in the Fall where the colorful leaves light the landscape, arright?

I'm a big fan of Eastern Culture. I don't into the religions and mysticisms (though I'm not sure all of it is mysticism; I'll leave that to an expert), but many of the values and disciplines I find very valuable. Usually, we Westerners think we have everything figured out and that our way of thinking and doing things is IT. Not so.

I once read or heard somwhere that all the energy we Westerners put into technology, Easterners put into spirituality. I like the concept of that. As a Christian, I try to get as close to God as I can. But it seems most Westerners have a mindset far removed from that. It's all about economics or technology or some other meaningless quest for convenience. We're known for having work ethic, but I sometimes think it's not work ethic as much as it is the love for money. And we all know what the love for money is...

In the East, I find that efficiency, patience, ritual (maintaining a routine of any kind), and learning are higly prized. And for those of you out there that know a little something about Confucius, yeah, ritual is a Confucian ideal. But then again, no it's not. As simply as kids in America have the "homework ritual" to help them learn new things; the U.S. military is full of drill sergeants and soldiers who are taught routines to follow. For your sakes, I'll change "ritual" to "routine" or "discipline". Just stay with me for a second; I am not Confucian or confused.

So I'm taking an Asian History and Culture class in school right now. And the last few sessions have been QUITE interesting. Our professor brought in a Chinese teacher to teach us Chinese Calligraphy. I've always thought that Chinese writing was beautiful and wanted to know more about it and be able to read it. You know what I found out? If anything embodies the Eastern values of efficiency, patience, routine, and learning, it's Chinese Writing! Peep this:

Efficiency - Mandarin Chinese is usually painted with brushes or written with a felt tip pin. Obviously, not much erasing is going to happen there...

Patience - The meaning of the Chinese characters is one thing. But the beauty of the characters themselves lies in the brush strokes. No, you can't just get a brush and draw the symbols however it befits you. There is a system of strokes you have to master. And as you master the the strokes, Chinese calligraphy changes from simple writing to art because in the very stroke of your medium you learn to express yourself, not just in the selection of the character itself.

Discipline - And do you know how this mastery of Chinese Calligraphy is achieved? PRACTICE! Young Chinese students are drilled with their writing style from Kindergarten. There are simple characters that picture simple objects. Then those characters come together into compound characters to create ideas and concepts. Then the compound characters come together to create larger words and phrases and ideas out of several characters. And with so many characters to learn, practice is VITAL to make sure they are remembered and written well.

Learning - People in the West wonder why Eastern students often come over and excel amongst Western students. But after so much drilling in things like calligraphy, their minds become more receptive to learning, so they pick up things faster.

So when I say Chinese Calligraphy is beautiful, you can imagine that I'm thinking about more than just the final product. Knowing what goes into and comes out of it makes it all the more beautiful. The instructor gave us the analogy that Chinese Characters are more like algebraic symbols than letters and words. Imagine that! A writing style similar to mathematics?! (and I don't even like Math!) The most amazing thing was that he showed us some symbols that predated the Bible, but they were symbols that showed evidence of Biblical concepts. For instance , the symbol for the word "create" was not a hammer or chisel or anything that we would normally guess. It was a combination of the symbol for "stride", the symbol for "earth", and the symbol for "mouth". Isn't it ironic that in Christianity we believe that God "spoke" the "world" into existence and "progression"... So now, I'm trying to teach myself some Mandarin Chinese writing to see if it will help me to see things differently and, coincidentally, maybe even strengthen my faith.

Aside from the calligraphy, I see the same values in the eastern martial arts; yes, anybody that knows me knows that I am a martial arts junkie. Kung Fu, Ju Jitsu, Ninjitsu, Aikido, Tai Kwon Do, Juko Kai, Muay Thai, Mitsurugi styles, Judo... BOXING, lol. Though some moreso than others, it's all efficiency, techinique, discipline, and learning. So if you don't mind, I'm gonna hang out here in the East for a while. Feel free to join me... At least until Winter so we can see the snow accent the decorative oriental rooftops in white.

Thug Passion and Paradox

(Sigh) Yeah... It's another Tupac article. We've all been down this road before, so I'm warning you cats now: If you're one of those who likes to state and focus on the obvious, I don't recommend you read any further. Your minds are already set/closed and all you came here to do is argue. Sorry, but you more-than-likely will get bashed tonight.

So, am I a Tupac fan? WEll... That may be a bit much to say. On one hand, I've heard a lot of his music. I see him as profound individual. I still have a small Tupac poster on my door. I even have a few tracks in my archives somewhere... On the other hand, I don't have a single Tupac album. And the BIG poster I had next to my window for ---uh, 7 years I think?--- well it's down now. I'll let you decide if I'm a fan or not...

Meanwhile, I'm on to the issue. It's been 7 years, and cats are still grieving for Pac. Maybe it's because of all the MCs coming out and claiming they are his replacements. Maybe it's because the status quo of African-American society hasn't changed that much from when Pac was standing in the gap for the unfortunate.

Anywasy, in my mind for a while now, I was certain that it was time to put Pac (and Biggie) to rest. It happens once every year where I'm like, "I think the significance has passed". Well, recently I was watching a series of Tupac videos. Of course there was "How Do You Want It" and the like; 'just thought I'd go there to begin with to clear the air and such. (I don't know why people love to hold on to the worst they can remember about a person... you're still reading, aren't you...)

Then they played the video for "Brenda's Got a Baby". And I saw Tupac, holding a baby with a look on his face that said, "If I could protect you from the world, I would". (Think it's too dramatic on my part maybe? You're the ones who chose to read further; so sue me and keep reading...) Next I saw the video for "Baby, Don't Cry". And I listened to Pac speak of a young woman's plight with such compassion that I wanted to share in her struggle. This "thug" had a passion for the people around him. And I could tell it was genuine... not makeshift to be trendy.

But bump this... time to get to my point. Basically, the vast majority of the cats out now claiming to be "thugs in Pac's image" aren't even in Pac's near vicinity. They chant of their own prosperity and brag on their heartlessness. Of course Pac had his moments, Obviosos... But nobody can say that Pac was all about himself, and nobody can say Pac had no heart. So how can these cats claim Pac and easily fool so many cats? Oh yeah... prolly because of that tendency we have to focus on the negatives of a man. As far as you're concerned, these MCs really are mini-Tupacs, aren't they? (and yet, you'll read on...)

Man... Where are the "Baby Don't Cry"s? The "Dear Mama"s? The "Brenda's Got a Baby"s? The "I Wonder if Heaven Got a Ghetto"s? The "If My Homies Call"s? Don't get me wrong, I EMPATHIZE with thuglife, but I don't SYMPATHIZE with it (read the previous entry if you have any problems keeping up); as a Christian, I believe faith in Jesus makes the thuglife unnecessary. But as far as thugs go, most of these new cats are just animals. They're missing the love--- the heart--- to even think of stepping to Pac. These are thugs with no passion.

Obviously (why are you still reading?!) this doesn't pertain to all the MCs out there. I respect cats like Nas. Short list, huh...

lol... I know there are others out there, but you get my point. Nas hasn't always been the Nas he is now (so for the last time, sit down, Obviosos...before I pull microscopes on you). However, on his last few ventures Nas has faced-up the whole industry in verbal assault. His latest release, "Streets Disciple"... a LOT of work went into that; you can hear it. As an MC myself I know, it's not easy writing conscious music. What incentive did he have--- loading his verses with vital information and forging them from poetry to MC-worthy lines--- when he could much more easily have bragged about his possessions like all the other makeshifts out there and gone platinum? What and who was it all for? More than any other entity, I get the impression that it was for the people. And I'm not, nor am I trying to be "thug enough" to officially say this--- but THAT'S thug passion.

(Extending hand to Obviosos...) The floor's open to comments now, even yours...

*Note to self and readers: Lord willing, next few posts will be much lighter;-)