If I Had a Million Dollars...

H3ll NO I won't be "big ballin"! Dummies! That's why ya'll ain rich now! MUWAHAHAHA

I got this so figured out; you gimme 1 million and I'ma be STRAIGHT. Peep game, and yes, THIS is what having game is about:

1. 10% off the top to the Lord. Do it fast, and ya ain gotta think about it. Ain it funny how the more you have, the less you wanna give tho? Anyway... $900,000 right?

2. Investment! I might start off by investing juuuust enough. Enough for what? Peep game: a friend told me about an investment account where if you invest just $30,000, you get $3,000 a month in returns. Guess what folks: that's more than enough to pay my monthly bills in the house I live in AND buy me groceries with a couple hundred extra left over!

But nooo, I'm a shifty playa... If $30,000 will get me $3,000 a month, then $100,000 will bring me... (cymbal crash) $10,000 a MONTH suckas! HANDLE THAT: $100,000 in ONE investment account with a $10,000 a month in returns.

That takes me down to $800,000 making $10,000 a month sitting on my ARSE! I'M RICH BIAT...ahm. Bills cut tha $10,000 to $7,000+ in returns; big deal. But oh no, it gets better...

3. Blam, I'm gonna pay off this house I'm living in. $70,000ish, and no more worrying about a mortage. No more interest building up. BAM. A quick hit, but I"m still sitting on $730,000 with $7,000 in investment returns a month. Keep watching...

4. I'ma get a JOB! But get this: I'ma get a COMFORTABLE job! Why? Cuz I'm not in it for the money obviously; I'm in it cuz I WANT to be in it. It'll give me a lil extra finance, keep me occupied, and help me build up my resume. Something as simple as a tutor or mentor or counselor where I spend my time doing what I do best: talking. So I'm sitting on $730,000, impervious to bills, making $7,000 a month from investments, with a job adding about an extra $1, 000+ a month. But the saga continues...

5. You know all that expensive, high-quality equipment I wanna get but I'm too broke to buy? I'M RICH BIAT...ahem. MPC's, Mixers, Mics, Soundproofing, MacIntosh, Amp, Instruments... You're all mine for about the amount of 3 months worth of investment returns AFTER bills!!! WHATCHU GONNA DO? WHATCHU GONNA DO?!!!

But get this; with all that, I can make the music I wanna make and SELL IT OUTTA MY TRUNK IN MY SPARE TIME, seeing as how I only have a minor job eating my time up. So...

I'm sitting on $730,000; $10,000+ a month coming in from investments, minus a mere $3000 for bills, so $7,000 profit; minus a one time fee of about $21,000 for studio equipment; plus an extra $1000 from a dead end job; plus WHO KNOWS what from distributing my own music! Keep watching...

6. Build my entrepreneurial empire. I'm gonna pursue the music to the fullest and build a record label/production company and enlist the help of the appropriate people to keep it working. I'm gonna do a round-up of all the cats I've been working with over the years nationwide that know what I'm about and wanna contribute; share the wealth fo-sho. If done correctly, the end result could bring a sizable profit , and I'd no longer hafta go outta my trunk and kill time that way. SWEET. By this time, I'd be sitting on waaaaay more than enough to take care of me AND my lil sis.

7. Start pricing houses brotha! By this point, like I said, I could support me AND my lil sis. But truthfully, I could support that... while supporting a whole different location! Think I'm crazy? Peep game:

8. You know that lil $7000 extra I make in investment returns a month? Shooooot... Why just sit on it? I'LL INVEST THAT TOO! And I don't even hafta do it consistently, lol. I could put about $35,000 worth in a second investment account, and from there on out, I'll be getting $7000 a month PLUS an extra $3,000+. $10000 a MONTH peeps!


9. So, I'm sitting on $730,000. My bills are paid with $10,000 A MONTH left over. I got a record empire making my dreams come true and giving me a profit. I got a lil job on the side to kill time and tack an extra $1000 a month on. Son... You know what time it is... I'M GOIN COURTIN! HECK YES, I'm gonna find me a woman, and I'm gonna be able to sit next to her and tell her "I'm set." BUT, I'm not that big a fool, lol.

Remember when I said "I'm not ballin"? See, I won't be; I'll just be wealthy. So I'll kick it with the lady, get to know her. If I dig her and we decide to make it happen, THAT's when she'll find out I'm sitting pretty. The real blessing of it is me knowing I have the finances to go all the way with the relationship, PLUS spoil her, cuz that's what I love to do, lol.

10. Pick out a house. (deep breath) Bout to make that mooove brotha. Yup yup, can't start a family in a house witcha family, that just ain right. So boom, get ready to purchase a comfy, not super-lavish crib. Not at first anyway. Then I'ma be clever right, and drive my lady past the house I pick one day and ask her how she likes it. Then...

11. I'm gettin MARRIED brotha! All ya'll niggas of all races invited. All my partners in crime on the music scene, all the family, all the friends. It's gonna be a lavish occasion, I can kiss about 100,000 goodbyyye, lol. Honeymoon on the MOON son, lol. J/k, but we are getting the hegg outta dodge in the nastiest way. I'm tambout.... shh....lez hit Brazil or sumn.

12. Make sure my lil sis is squared away. Big bro is paid enough to take care of her in her crib long as she needs me, but when she gets to a point where she can fully support herself, ohhh joy...

13. I'm goin on TOUR son! With my music empire flourishing, I'm taking the wife, and we're gonna roll with the team (so I hope she loves music and travelling as much as I do). But then, the tour comes to a screeching halt when we discover...

14. GASP, I'M GONNA BE A RICH DADDY BIAT...ahem. Yessir, raise me a family. And while we're still young too. Wow wow wow, lol. Be nice to be able to afford to spend more time with my team and not in the world.

15. I'm MOVIN SON! Canada I think would be very nice. So when I get in the mid 30s to 40, we gon DIP Miss. Yes yes yes.

16. Endgame; when my time comes, I'm gonna leave my family wit a SIZABLE mountain to sit on, AND the formula on how to KEEP it sizable.

SHYUHHH. Lemme get just $1,000,000 and it's a WRAP!

B-J