Jigabod Meets RoboCop

Ight, so in my own mind the dopest thing I could ever be is a Jedi. I'd have an orange lightsaber with a problem staying lit that just tends to light up when I need it to, which would cause me to become ridiculously skilled at hand to hand combat by necessity. I'd use the force to manipulate a set of dominoes and to heal wounded spirits, specifically of females. And I'd spend my time corrupting Yoda into becoming a Jedi hustler by beating the breaks off of him in dominoes. And that's why I'll never be a Jedi, lol.

But before I accept my fate and go back to reality, I gotta make a quick stop. Last few days, they've been playing Robocop movies like crazy. Yo, I forgot just how dope RoboCop is! When I was little, the movies used to scare me a bit, but now that I'm older I might hafta buy at least the first one.

The thing that's cool about RoboCop is he's like a cowboy. He moves slow as heck since he's a robot, but it creates crazy suspense when he gets in tight spots cuz it's not like you can tell him to run, lol. His gun's shaft is long as HECK! It's like, when he points a gun at somebody the nozzle seems to be in their face no matter how far away he is, lol. Oh, and you can't forget the holster; my boy has a holster built INTO HIS LEG. How dope is that?! And he does the whole gun trick like a cowboy too! Wonder who programmed that into him.

The helmet is gangsta. I'm sorry, but chrome domes just rock. I'd love to see him headbutt somebody just for the heck of it. Homie has a technological spike built into his hand for data transfer. ...Yeah right, my man RoboCop STABBED somebody with that joint, lol. He's a regular one-claw Wolverine in this piece.

He's always got a little lady to look after, can't be mad at the man ya know? Runs in the family. But this is the absolute dopest thing about RoboCop: his motif. I promise you, RoboCop's motif is one of the dopest hero anthems EVER produced. I say, and stand by this declaration: RoboCop's motif is the antithesis to Darth Vader's motif. Take it to the bank.

Sadly, however, the odds of RoboCop beating Darth Vader are slim to none; if he can get his gun up he has a chance, cuz bullets are faster than them sorry-a$$ lasers on Star Wars that get deflected. But Vader's got the force itself on his side to deflect bullets, or probably keep Robo from drawing his gun in the first place, not to mention a light-saber to make short work of that titanium exo.

However... Vader didn't count on Jigabod in the passenger seat when Robo rolled up. DOMINO FOO!

And I'm outB-J



But the greatest