Watermelon Season Foos

Ay, I saw the Lost Episodes of Dave Chappelle the other day. FUNNY STUFF, lol. But I gotta say this, regarding the pixie skit: I ain got no pixies foo! BWAHAHAHA, I'm a Black man and coincidentally, YES I DO like fried chicken, watermelon, kool aid, soul food, and most other things people stereotype with Black people, thick women included. And I will EAT ALL THAT STUFF RIGHT IN FRONT OF A WHITE MAN'S FACE, thick women excluded... yeah. But you know why? Because the truth is, White people probably like that stuff too, but they're scared of THEIR pixies, lololol.

I love all people folks, but it's friggin true; there's no way in hell White people don't like fried chicken as much as we do, I'm sorry. Ya'll frontin, ya'll pretending, ya'll lettin that lil dixie pixie run ya'll LIFE! I ain scurred, lol...

Anyway... that was fun. The REAL subject of this blog is... I'm on a hot streak of pickin watermelons this season. And I thought it would be robbery not to share some watermelon wisdom so ya'll can enjoy the rest of ya summer. My gift to people of all races; three tips to get the most out ya watermelons...

1) This is one thing I remember my pop teaching me: you pick the watermelon by the stem. Look for the watermelons that still have the stem attached. And then, of those, pick the ones who's stems are still green, especially around the base closest to the watermelon itself. I've followed that three times this year and three times it's been all to the good.

2) EAT THE SEEDS FOOS! You can't enjoy a watermelon while spitting all the seeds out, lol. They will NOT hurt you, they will NOT cause watermelons to grow in ya stomach like that little story they used to tell. Matter of fact, they're good for you. And if you eat a couple together, you'll find they taste like nuts; similar to almonds. So CHOW DOWN.

3) If you get a watermelon that's just unbelieveably sweet, SAVE SOME SEEDS AND PLANT THEM JOINTS! We need more sweet watermelon in the world. It's nothing to have a lil patch of your own. So make sure the best ones reproduce themselves.

That about it... or not.

4) DON'T LISTEN TO THEM LIL PIXIES FOLKS. THEY'LL SCREW YA LIFE UP! IF YOU WANT SOME WATERMELON, THEN GETCHU SOME SHO-NUFF WATERMELON FOO! lolol