The V-Day Series: Chivalry vs. Chauvanism

So the first day of February has arrived and we're already ahead of the game. As Mr. Burns (from the Simpsons) would say, "Exxcellent..."

Now I'm going to demonstrate a very important piece of my philosophy of life: in order to fix things, there must be an order of operation. My personal belief (for which I've caught a lot of flack in the past, present, and probably for as long as cats fear responsibility) is that getting men to do the right thing first will cause many other things to fall into place. I had a long night at work, so if anybody disagrees that's fine... I'm friggin tired.

So this thing called chivalry and this thing called chauvanism... I've always been into chivalry ever since I was young and I never quite understood why; most fellas I know complain about it. I learned a thing or two my first year in college about what chivalry really was. Chivalry was started as a "substitute for the Bible" in Europe at a time when people of certain regions didn't always have access to the Bible or couldn't read it because they were illiterate or because it hadn't been translated into their own language. From there, chivalry kinda became its own entity. I learned these things while studying Don Quixote... we'll talk more about that later.

Chauvanism - "machismo" some call it. "An attitude of superiority toward the opposite sex," according to Webster. And yes, even in 2006 there are a lot of cats who maintain such an attitude; some knowingly, others unknowingly. Believe it or not, some people exhibit chauvanism in an honest attempt to be chivalrous. One must be careful, or your Valentine's Day could go up in smoke and keyed-up car doors. Let's break it down a little further...

I thought about making a checklist, but nah, I don't need to do that. It's like my pastor said of the Bible once: "The Bible is effective because it's a book of principles more than a book of rules." So here are a few simple principles to remember to keep you in the position of a knight and not a pig:

1. Chivalry places a woman on a pedestal. It doesn't assume she is incapable of anything; it simply preserves her from the wear and tear. The attitude is, "Yes, you are fully capable of doing X, but you shouldn't have to do X because I'm here."

2. Chauvanism places a woman beneath you; and not in the biblical sense of the "weaker vessel"*, but in the inferiority sense. It says, "You are incapable of doing X, so I will do it for you; not only that but you're only capable of doing Y, and that's your position."


Simple enough? So, with Valentine's Day coming up, brothers, there's your two-part outline that should keep you from making serious faux pas with your lady love. Matter of fact, take those with you, free of charge, for the rest of the year. If you master those two principles, the rules will come to you no problem.

Now, I had a talk with a younger friend of mine the other day. Cat told me dudes would jock him about being sensitive to females; it made him question himself, if you know what I mean. But in light of these two principles, let's look at what really happened. By being tenderhearted, the young cat was being chivalrous; by refusing to recognize women, his homeboys were being chauvanistic. You predict who's gonna have the best Valentine's Day... Way to man-up, homie!

*A note regarding the "weaker vessel" concept. Just to set the rec... (cancel that; friggin cliche) So we don't amass confusion in this piece, the "weaker vessel" concept is simply this: though woman is fully capable of doing what man does, her creative purpose is not to do what man does. Otherwise, why did God make man and woman? The job of a man is to fulfill his duties so that a woman can be a woman and not be outside of her element. To make it plain, ask any single mother if she's out of her element in being both mother and father to her children... So you see, the "weaker vessel" concept is not at all meant to be demeaning. As always, it's All LoveB-J