The V-Day Series: Love and Friendship

Whoa... a day blew right by me. But I'll double-up to make up for it, don't worry, lol.

Love and friendship... You know, I actually learned more about love by being in an intimate one-year friendship than in chasing all the girls I've chased in my whole life. I'm not going to return to that place and time; I understand that I've missed out on something beautiful and there's no way to get it back. But I will share with you the benefits of my experience.

From that special friendship, I learned the true difference between love and lust. Even now I can honestly, and sadly, say that most of the girls I've chased after in my life I chased in a lustful spirit. How do I know it was lust and not love? Peep:

1. Love is preferring someone else over yourself. And it's not just doing nice things for them; it's being more mindful of them than you are of yourself. It's when a man goes to work not because he loves his job, but because he loves his wife. It's when a girl wears that dress not because she likes it, but because she knows her boyfriend likes it on her. It's when you willingly overexert yourself to be kind to another person; and when it's over you don't hold it against them or expect anything in return.

2. Lust is pursuing someone else for what you can get out of it. Maybe a girl is beautiful and a man just wants to have her on his arm to validate himself. Maybe he just wants to sleep with her to know what it feels like to sleep with a beautiful woman. Maybe a man is rich and and a lady wants all she can get from him. It's when you seek after someone else with selfish intentions; the other person's satisfaction either never comes into question or takes a far-second place to your own.


Now, I'll talk a little about my experience with my special friend. No details, but I will tell you this: I would have gone to the furthest of the extent of my power for her. I wasn't comfortable unless I knew she was comfortable. When we parted ways, I missed her to the pit of my soul, and all I could think of was, "Is she okay? who's looking after her?" It was so bad that I didn't mind if another person cared for her, as long as she was cared for. And in time, another person did care for her. Through it all, I learned the difference between love and lust; a hurtful lesson, but well worth it.

So ladies and gentlemen, when people say "it's best to start off as friends," it's not just being old-fashioned; there is something valuable to learn by being a true friend to someone you're considering. It's a lesson in the difference between love and lust. A true friendship will make love plain to you, and from there you can grow a strong and lasting relationship. If it comes too fast, it's probably (not always) lust; look at your intentions and determine if they're selfish or benevolent.

Incidently, talking about my personal experiences and sharing what I've learned from them makes me feel more at peace with them. For those who might stop through, I hope you'll consider what I'm saying and try them for yourselves.

Next blog pending, lol

All LoveB-J