Music Visualizations

When I was little, we didn't have cable. Not unless I was up at my aunt's house, and even then all I would watch were cartoons. I had no idea there was such a thing as music video until I was about... 13ish? Somewhere along there...

At first, videos were the greatest thing on earth. The first video I ever saw was the video for "Sweet Lullaby" by a group called Deep Forest. lol... Come to think of it, it was my first real taste of Eastern Culture. But now that I'm older, I realize that the thrill of video is gone. Every now and then I see one that catches me of course, but for the most part videos no longer move me.

I think back to when I was little; before I was into music videos. And you know what? Music meant so much more before video. It's kinda like reading a good book and then seeing a movie based on the book; usually the read was better than the visual representation. Before video, the only visions of music I had were my own dreams. I'll give you an example: Toni Braxton.

To me, Toni Braxton is very beautiful. I remember when I first saw how sexy she was; the "Breathe Again" video comes to mind. It was back when when she had the short hair. The video was shot in that early-cinema-nostalgia-monochromatic style; she wore a long flowing dress, fairytale style. I was awe-struck... But I realize now that finally seeing her, no matter how stunningly beautiful she was, doesn't begin to compare to my nights experiencing Toni as a figment of my imagination. MAN...

The first song I heard by Toni Braxton was "Another Sad Love Song", one of my all time R&B favorites. At the time, I didn't know who Toni Braxton was or if the song even had a video. All I knew was that a woman with a beautiful voice would come on the radio and have me hanging on her every word. She sang, ironically, about the power of music to bring back old feelings. And that pain came alive in the trill of her voice. I would become absorbed in the song and wish to be the solution to this beautiful voice's dilemma. Then I would imagine, "What kind of face could possibly do justice to a voice like that? Is she tall or short? Is she thick or slim? Is she light or dark?" And the crazy thing was, I don't think it would've mattered either way: The raw essence of Toni Braxton had me spinning before I ever saw who she was. And for a year or so, I just dreamed about a woman I'd never seen before.

That's the power of music that I'm missing right now. I hear songs come out, and they don't stimulate my mind like those old days before video; perhaps because the commercial emphasis has shifted from the music itself to the videos that promote them. I much prefer to hear music and dream than have my dreams fed to me.

Someone once told me that I should be a movie/video director. I could see that happening, but only because I already create my own "movies" in my mind. But I doubt that people would accept or even understand some of my dreams, because sometimes I don't even dream in concrete ideas; sometimes I literally dream in colors and shapes. I think I'd much rather make music, because when I make music, I can stimulate people and let them create their own imagery. Not to mention, I can hear my own music and create my own imagery like I used to; maybe that's why I have childhood flashbacks when I'm in the studio. Some nights when I'm working it feels like I could just close my eyes and wake up in my mom's '88 Honda Accord during the wee hours of the morning... "It's just another sad love song wrecking my brain..."